Ivory, hard, creamy-white substance composing the tusks of elephants, walruses, narwhals, and one species of duck.
Articles under "Ivory"
American Life Turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie
NEW YORK—In the two weeks since terrorists crashed hijacked planes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon, American life has come to resemble a ...
2011: International
This year saw political unrest in the Middle East and Russia, economic crisis in Europe, and a former president of the Ivory Coast on trial ...
College-Radio DJ Thinks He Has Cult Following
CHARLESTON, IL–College-radio disc jockey Jordan Haley is convinced that "Rock Blossom," his show airing Thursdays from midnight to 2 a.m. on WEIU 88 ...
Pope Insanity MXLV Selected
VATICAN CITY—Following the ceremonial rising of the white smoke and pealing of the St. Peter’s Basilica bells earlier this afternoon, black clouds suddenly ...
Dad Navigates Reduced-Rate Travel Websites Like Mozart Composing Symphony
ALEXANDRIA, VA—Exhibiting the nimble precision and unrivaled genius of the 18th-century Viennese prodigy, local father Michael Kirrane, 54, navigated several discount travel websites Friday ...
World Wildlife Fund Quickly Backtracks After Announcing Panda Ears Are Delicious
'They're Really Good, But We Shouldn't Be Saying That,' Says Spokesman
GLAND, SWITZERLAND—During a press conference outside their Swiss headquarters Thursday, World Wildlife Fund officials backpedaled from a controversial press statement released by the organization ...
Elephant Poaching Up Dramatically
According to recent reports from advocacy groups, elephants in central Africa are being slaughtered at rates unseen since the 1980s, with ivory prices skyrocketing due ...
The Bird Sniffer
PBS
8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT
Ornithologist and acclaimed odor-describer Dr. Charles Wemple attempts to get a rare whiff of ...
The ONION's 1997 Man of The Year
Each year, The Onion's esteemed Board of Directors faces the daunting task of singling out one individual who most embodies the spirit of the ...
Break-Up Made Easier With Colorful Visual Aids
HUNTINGTON, WV—Stephanie Duquette utilized colorful graphs to provide an eye-catching presentation of Chris Straub's failings as a boyfriend.
Wacky Morning DJ Faces Crisis Of Journalistic Ethics
OAK PARK, IL—Controversy embroiled Oak Park's Q102 FM Morning Zoo Tuesday, when wacky morning DJ "Madman" Mike Antony claimed that a proposed on-location ...
Marilyn Chambers Dead At 56
Marilyn Chambers, the former pornographic film actress who starred in the film Behind The Green Door and was the face of Ivory Snow detergent,...
Job-Hunting Tips
Today's job market is more competitive than ever. Here are some tips to help give you the edge:
Snotty Teenage Girls Convene for World Summit
OSLO, NORWAY—Delegations of snotty teenage girls descended upon the Norwegian capital from all over the world this past weekend, gathering for a historic five-day ...
First National Bank Announces: 'Suckers, We're Keeping All the Money'
BOSTON—The First National Bank of Boston, the nation’s largest commercial bank, announced yesterday that it will no longer hold on to its customers ...


















