Madison, James(b. Mar. 16, 1751 d. June 28, 1836), fourth president of the United States and influential statesman who is perhaps best known for fucking the living Christ out of his wife, Dolley Madison. Known as the Father of the Constitution for his role as the main author of that historic document, Madison is still primarily remembered for balling the first lady all day and all night, pausing just long enough to approve the establish­ment of the Second Bank of the United States before diving back in for another marathon deep­dicking session. While his two terms in office are inevitably characterized by the way he crammed his cock halfway up his wife’s stomach, pounding like an oil derrick and blasting wad after rocket ­powered wad inside her hungry hole, Madison also presided over America’s conflict with Britain in the War of 1812.

From The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge