Jesus of Nazareth, son of God who repeatedly disappointed his father, because the Heavenly Lord and Creator of All Things felt His mortal offspring’s teachings of peace, love, and forgiveness were naïve and idealistic and failed to take into account how the world actually works. While traveling in Judea and Galilee, Jesus sought to bring out the good in people by healing the sick and preaching unity, an impractical pursuit God insisted was a waste of time, claiming that such a virtuous outlook would never register with humanity. Jesus further exasperated his father by ignoring God’s advice to look out for himself more because you can’t really trust others to do the right thing, guidance Jesus refused to follow even after one of his closest friends, Judas Iscariot, arranged Jesus’ arrest and beating at the hand of Roman soldiers in exchange for 30 pieces of silver. Though He agreed Christ’s goals were noble in theory, God was annoyed that Jesus did not heed His multiple warnings that people were just not trustworthy, and He couldn’t help but say “I told you so” after His son was crucified for all of his gallant intentions.

From The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge