Journalism, practice of laying off 250 people, shuttering the last remaining international bureaus, and bringing in an editor who is young and hip and knows what the readers want. Journalism plays a major role in any free society, one that involves calling an emergency staff-wide meeting to hear the new editor speak about how the news business is changing and how they’re going to have to adapt by becoming a leaner, sleeker, more agile news outlet that embraces these new realities and is not so hostile toward clickable “user-friendly” content, which will drive traffic and supposedly be better for everyone in the long run. Journalism is an aging reporter with 35 years in the business who loves the sound of the printing press and is currently filling a cardboard box with his things because his brand of in-depth investigative reporting doesn’t generate enough weekly page views to justify the cost of his work or the high CPMs. Whatever the hell that is. The field of journalism, which can trace its origins to the 15th century, is also known for leading with a piece about online shopping the Monday after Thanksgiving instead of a bombing in the Middle East, and for uncovering the truth behind who designed Gwyneth Paltrow’s handbag. Journalism boasts a number of brave reporters who have tirelessly worked for the public good, and its main objectives are coordinating with advertisers to ensure the content fits their needs, and determining which terms are most actively searched on Google so it can fire off 15 related “charticles” designed to steal some of the web traffic before public interest wanes.
Articles under "Journalism"
Study Finds Hearing Loved One's Voice Induces Excruciating Pain In Coma Patients
BALTIMORE—According to a study published Monday in The New England Journal Of Medicine, people in comas experience excruciating, indescribable levels of pain whenever they ...
U.S. Citizen Resigns After Making Controversial Remark About Country
MATTOON, IL—Ending the firestorm of controversy that erupted after he made a highly critical comment about the United States, 43-year-old hardware store employee Keith ...
Wind Farms Leave Most Birds Unaffected
A study published in the Journal Of Applied Ecology of 10 bird species on the site of a newly constructed wind farm showed that most ...
Sweetener Makes You Dumber
A study published in The Journal of Physiology demonstrated that rats given substantial amounts of high fructose corn syrup learned and remembered less than a ...
First Mixed-Embryo Monkey Born
Scientists reported in the journal Cell the first successful birth of a monkey composed of stem cells from six different monkey embryos.
Burmese Pythons Exterminating Everglades Mammals
A study in the journal Proceedings Of The National Academy of Sciences links a drastic decline in raccoons and other mammals in the Florida everglades ...
Should Sugar Be Regulated?
In a recent editorial in the journal Nature, researchers from the University of California–San Francisco suggested that as a toxic substance, sugar should be ...
Spanking Doesn't Work
A study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal analyzed two decades of research and found that children who were punished physically became more aggressive ...
Study Finds Newborn Infants Can Tell If Parents Are Losers
CHICAGO—A study published this week in the journal Pediatrics found that, within seconds of their birth, babies have the ability to sense whether their ...
Positive Affirmation Makes One Feel Worse
According to a study published in the journal Psychological Science, repeating positive affirmations like "I am a lovable person" makes depressed people feel worse.
Fruit Flies Seek Out Alcohol
An Emory University study published in the journal Current Biology shows that common fruit flies often seek out fermented fruit for nourishment in order to ...
Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television
CHAPEL HILL, NC–Area resident Jonathan Green does not own a television, a fact he repeatedly points out to friends, family, and coworkers–as well ...
Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
TOPEKA, KS—Evangelical physicists are now asserting that objects fall because a higher power is pushing them down.
Dog Owners Have Healthier Babies
A study in the journal Pediatrics found that infants who lived in homes with dogs had fewer coughs, colds, and ear infections than infants from ...
Iron Dumped In Ocean Might Slow Global Warming
According to a study published in the journal Nature, dumping iron at sea could encourage the growth of large blooms of algae, which in turn ...
People More Likely To Die On Birthdays
According to a Swiss study published in the journal Annals Of Epidemiology, people have a 14 percent greater chance of dying on their birthday.
Bill Belichick Lauded For Volunteer Work At Local Morgue
BOSTON—New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was lauded Friday for his volunteer work at the Boston City Morgue, receiving praise from its staff ...
More People Turning To YouTube For News
A study from the Pew Research Center's Project for Excellence in Journalism found that people are increasingly turning to online video sites like YouTube ...
Brain Mechanism Triggered By Electroshock Discovered
Though electroconvulsive therapy has been in use since the 1930s, a paper published in the journal Proceedings Of The National Academy Of Sciences described for ...
Study Finds Getting Smacked Right In The Mouth With A Goddamn Tree Branch Really Sucks
'But After A Minute, You're Basically Fine,' Researchers Say
BOSTON—According to a study published Monday in The New England Journal Of Medicine, getting smacked right across the mouth with a goddamn tree branch ...










