PASADENA, CA—With the intention of letting loose, hitting the town, and maybe even "getting into a little mischief," Christine Fehrman, 33, and her closest ...

Aries Sex with you is an earth-shattering experience, especially the part where hundreds of Indonesians lose their lives. Taurus Your shortness of breath and wild ...

Aries To improve your spiritual health, avoid the myriad temptations of the flesh. This is most easily accomplished by repeating the word "flesh" over and ...

CHICAGO—Approximately 60 million viewers are on standby, stationed in front of their TVs, awaiting further instruction from their leader.

SALEM, IN—In a move designed to relieve several years of pent-up sexual frustration, area teen Jeremy Royce is slated for fever-pitched, white-hot masturbation later ...

Aries You’ll have no choice but to eat the other passengers after your plane crashes into an Armour Hot Dog processing plant this week ...

SOUTHFIELD, MI—In a move Coca-Cola marketing executives called "a clear sign of our branding success," highway worker Chuck Burdon, 37, purchased a two-liter Diet ...

FANG ISLAND—U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has opened his fortified island headquarters to participants in his second no-holds-barred martial arts tournament, the ...

CLEVELAND—Local dad Kevin Marshall, 29, began to voice concerns Monday that his 3-year-old son Bryant might be a real ding-dong, household sources confirmed.