Parade, celebratory march along a predetermined route whose participants are systematically murdered upon its completion. Parades can be held to commemorate events or mark holidays and generally incorporate floats, marching bands, and gunning down every man, woman, and child involved, then bulldozing their still-warm corpses into a hastily dug mass grave. Most parades feature a ceremonial grand marshal who rides at the front of the procession and thus has the honor of being the first to have his brains splattered against a brick wall at the conclusion of the festivities. The most famous gaffe in parade history occurred in 1963, when President John F. Kennedy was accidentally shot before the parade was over.

From The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge