Soccer, sport in which two teams of 11 players compete against an elusive, clever ball. Relying on a combination of speed, endurance, and cunning, soccer players attempt to chase down and capture the shrewd ball by trapping it in one of two nets on each side of the field. One ball-catching technique that is often used, typically when other strategies have failed, involves both teams pretending to stop playing so that the ball thinks the game is over. If done correctly, the ball will relax and let its guard down, making it more susceptible to ambush. A match is won when the ball escapes competitors with an evasive roll or after the contestants repeatedly kick it into submission and can grab it with their hands.
Articles under "Soccer"
Homesick Kid On Sleepover Needs To Just Tough It The Fuck Out
MEDFORD, OR—Considering that everyone else at Kevin Brown's sleepover party is having a great time and not freaking out about missing their mommies ...
Why Women's Professional Soccer Failed in the U.S.
With the sad and unnecessary death of Women's Professional Soccer last week, there is no longer a professional standalone women's soccer league in ...
Indianapolis Announces Really Embarrassing Bid For 2020 Summer Olympics
INDIANAPOLIS—At a press event held Wednesday in the main conference room of the downtown Hyatt Regency, Indianapolis mayor Greg Ballard publicly announced his city ...
Report: People Talking About Soccer, But There’s No World Cup This Year So It Must Be Something Else
NEW YORK—According to a report released Friday, which noted a considerable increase in the number of people talking about soccer throughout the United States ...
Women Now Empowered By Everything A Woman Does
OBERLIN, OH—Clothes shopping, once considered a mundane act with no sociopolitical implications, is now a bold feminist statement.
Soccer Star Diagnosed With Chronic MLS
The Get Out Of My Face guys dip into the mailbag to answer each other's questions about Tony La Russa's World Series sex ...
I Am So Starving vs. I Am So Starving
Oh, my God, I am so starving. I swear, if I don't get something to eat in like two minutes, I am going to ...
Australian Open Canceled As Tennis Balls Fall Off Bottom Of Earth Into The Sky
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA—Organizers of the Australian Open canceled the highly anticipated Grand Slam event Wednesday night after admitting they were unable to prevent tennis balls ...
Famous Flops In Sports
Faking outrage or egregious injury in order to draw a penalty, once the purview of soccer players, is becoming more and more common across all ...
Washed-Up Air Bud Signs With Greek Pro Team
RHODES, GREECE—Ignoring critics’ calls for the aging golden retriever's retirement, basketball standout and multisport athlete Air "Bud" Buddy has signed a one-year contract ...
David Beckham Announces He’s A Quitter
PARIS—Following a storied 21-year career, global soccer icon David Beckham officially announced Thursday that, at the age of 38, he is a giant quitter.
$18 Payment To Sponsored Child Withheld To Teach Child A Lesson
FAIRFAX, VA&mdashSave-A-Child father Gene Anderson says Mtumbe needs to learn to save for his future and not spend money on every childish little whim.
Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay
Plagued for years by swirling rumors about its sexuality, soccer has finally come out, becoming the world's first openly gay sport.
Mommy's Wedding More Fun Than Daddy's
GALESBURG, IL—After discussing the merits of both events at length, Julie and Ian Bowman, 7 and 5, agreed that their mother Ariel Binder's ...
White Family Moves To Town
GLENCOE, IL—Shock, outrage and fear were just some of the emotions that failed to sweep through this affluent Chicago suburb Monday, when word got ...





















