Vase, device used to display dead flowers as a stark warning to any other plants that might be planning a revolution to take over the human race. Typically made of decorative glass or porcelain, a vase is filled with enough fresh water to prolong a flower’s decomposition process, creating a terrifying image meant to spread fear and paranoia throughout the floral community, and send an unmistakable message that the humans are in charge and that any attempt at resistance, no matter how slight, would be gravely unwise. Vases come in a variety of shapes and sizes, but all serve the same purpose of letting the plants know that if they band together they will end up just like the flowers in the vase: rotting and dead.
Articles under "Vase"
Man Suspected Of Being Bumbling Spy
WASHINGTON—Citing his erratic social behaviors, sudden unexplained disappearances, nondescript occupation, and habit of accidentally walking off piers while pretending to read newspapers, acquaintances of ...
Fox Defends Airing Of When Jews Attack
LOS ANGELES—In the face of widespread public outcry, Fox TV executives spoke out Monday in defense of last week's airing of When Jews ...
Justice Ginsburg Throws Party While 120-Year-Old Parents Away For Weekend
ALEXANDRIA, VA—With her parents leaving town to celebrate their 98th wedding anniversary, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg made plans Friday for a major house party ...
As Real-Estate Agent, Area Man's Appearance Crucial
GRANGER, IN–Looking good is an essential component of Gregg Rafalski's success as a real-estate agent, the 35-year-old RE/MAX employee asserted Monday.
Roger Goodell Tightens Code Of Conduct After NFL Players Break His Priceless Vase
JAMESTOWN, NY— NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced in a press conference yesterday that the NFL Code of Conduct would be tightened further after several NFL ...
World-Weary Garbage Man No Longer Shocked By Things People Throw Out
TULSA, OKAfter years of being appalled by the perfectly good items discarded by Tulsa residents, garbage collector Matt Ciszek, 34, reported Monday that he ...
Area Mom Really Gets Her Rocks Off On Being Appreciated
KINGSTON, NY—Boy, show local mother Janine Williams, 50, a little appreciation, and she practically creams herself, family members reported Tuesday.
Developmentally Disabled Senator Wants To Be Treated Like Any Other Lawmaker
WASHINGTON, DC—When he was elected to the U.S. Senate in November 2000, Sen. Freddy Rigby (D-NE) knew he had a tough road ahead ...
$50 Million Worth Of Diamonds Stolen In Average Day In Brussels
BRUSSELS—A team of professional burglars is said to have skillfully evaded security at Brussels’ international airport Monday night and escaped with roughly $50 million ...
Seashells Transform Suburban Bathroom Into Tropical Hideaway
WOODMERE, OH—"It's like a little island getaway right in my very own home," said Dale Watson, surrounded now by towering palm trees and ...
Kitchen-Floor Conflict Intensifies As Rival House Cats Claim Same Empty Bag
MAPLEWOOD, MO—"It is beginning to appear that any long-term solution may have to involve deployment of the disciplinary squirt bottle," said one U.N ...
Congress Lowers Drinking Age To 17 Just For Jenny's Party
WASHINGTON—H.R. 874, more commonly known as the Jenny's Turning 17!!! Bill, will take effect Friday, Sept. 19, 2008, as soon as Jenny ...






















