War, first resort in conflict resolution before opposing nations are forced to engage in diplomacy. Hoping to prevent a drawn-out, nightmarish round of statesmanship that could result in hundreds of thousands of lives saved, two or more embittered nations first try to overcome their differences by deploying their armed forces to kill as many of the other side’s soldiers as possible. If the unrelenting use of lethal force breaks down and warring parties find themselves on the brink of diplomacy—a tragic scenario both sides work to avoid at all costs—they are left with no other choice than to abandon their wholesale slaughter and meet face to face to civilly divide up contested territory. Often, however, a clear victor will emerge before war spirals into an all-out ceasefire, saving that nation’s citizens from ever having to witness the horrors of nonviolent compromise.
Articles under "War"
5-Hour Energy CEO: Deaths Just Collateral Damage In War On That 2:30 Feeling
5-Hour Energy's CEO says consumers are willing to pay the ultimate price in the ongoing war against mid-day fatigue.
Obama Paranoid Government Coming For His Guns
WASHINGTON—Reflecting attitudes held throughout his personal and political life, President Barack Obama restated Thursday his long-standing fear that the U.S.
Congress Arrested On Manslaughter Charges
Negligent Group Believed Responsible For Millions Of American Deaths
WASHINGTON—In a stunning development that has left every federal institution reeling, the U.S. government’s legislative branch was arrested this afternoon on 23 ...
Ten Years Later, Cheney Haunted By People He Didn't Manage To Kill In Iraq War
In a rare, candid interview, former Vice President Dick Cheney admitted he regrets that he couldn’t produce more casualties in the decade-long conflict.
Restoration Of 'Star Spangled Banner' Uncovers Horrifying New Verses
Susan Eckman from The National Archives comes on Today Now! to share newly discovered National Anthem verses about brutally decapitating enemies during the War of ...
Obama: 'I Will Allow 10 States To Secede, But No More'
An intern just happens to be a beautiful 22-year-old woman, Elmo admits he's uncomfortable working with a gay puppeteer, and the nation is horrified ...
'The State Of The Union Is Strong,' Says Man Responsible For Shielding Nation From Truth
Though presiding over a country hampered by war, an economic recession, dramatic cultural upheaval, and a partisan divide at the highest levels of government, the ...
Ravens-Broncos Matchup Rekindles Smoldering Resentment From Baltimore-Denver War Of 1877
DENVER—As the Ravens prepare to face the Broncos in Sunday’s AFC divisional playoff game, reports from both cities confirmed Friday that the matchup ...
Reporter Steps In To Replace Woman's Missing Husband
When the war in Afghanistan leaves a woman without a husband, caring reporter O'Brady Shaw steps in to replace him.
Obama Openly Asks Nation Why On Earth He Would Want To Serve For Another Term
PITTSBURGH—Citing three years of exhausting partisan politics, constant gridlock in Congress, and an overall feeling that the entire nation has "completely lost it," President ...
Pfizer Kingpin Gunned Down In Ongoing Prescription Drug Cartel Turf War
NEW YORK—In the latest of an increasingly violent series of murders linked to international prescription drug trafficking, infamous Pfizer cartel leader Philip “El Loco ...
Outfit Just Screams 'Police Officer'
Mr. Autumn Man walks down the street with a cup of coffee, wearing sweater over a plaid collared shirt, the seed of World War III ...
Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal
WASHINGTON—As they scoured the Internet for more juicy details about former CIA director David Petraeus’ affair with biographer Paula Broadwell, Americans were reportedly horrified ...
Top 5 Best-Selling Books — Week Of February 13, 2013
This week's 5 best-selling books as compiled by The Onion Book Review: The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald (Scribner, $8.67) An eloquent and ...
Your Horoscopes – Week Of March 20, 2013
Aries It may be years before your coworkers treat you with respect again, but it will have been worth it for the brief time spent ...
Thousands Of Elderly Japanese-Americans Rounded Up For Internment Camp’s 70th Reunion
POSTON, AZ—Commemorating the internment during World War II of nearly 120,000 innocent Japanese-Americans, U.S. authorities this week reportedly tracked down and apprehended ...
'Boy Meets World' Spin Off To Focus On Difficulties Of Raising Autistic Child
LOS ANGELES—Delighting fans of the popular ’90s sitcom, producers at ABC announced Tuesday that Cory Matthews, Topanga Lawrence, and other beloved characters from Boy ...
Fighting Continues Over World's Holiest Bombing Sites
JERUSALEM—Bitter fighting between Israel and Hamas reportedly showed no signs of abating Tuesday as both sides continued to lay exclusive claim to several of ...






















