Zoo, place that people visit when they want to feel sad.
Articles under "Zoo"
'Dark Knight Rises' Opts For Lighthearted, Cartoonish Tone
'It's Fun, Like A Comic Book,' Says Christopher Nolan
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Stating that "the time has come for a tonal shift" in the blockbuster series, director Christopher Nolan announced Thursday that the forthcoming Batman ...
Your Horoscopes - Week Of July 10, 2012
Aries While it's true you'll never really understand, accept, or tolerate homosexuality, it's admirable that it hasn't stopped you from having ...
Your Horoscopes - Week Of May 29, 2012
Aries You'll wake up in strangers' beds five times this week, which should be all the proof you need that you should meet more ...
Southern White Rhinoceros
A southern white rhinoceros at the San Antonio Zoo made an effort not to look suicidal in front of children.
Osprey Devours Lion In Massive Food-Chain Shake-Up
DAR ES SALAAM—With its dramatic depiction of an osprey stalking, killing, and eating a lion, a video released Tuesday reveals what alarmed scientists have ...
Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs
HONOLULU—In an announcement with grave implications for the human race, marine biologists said dolphins have evolved opposable thumbs.
Finance Expert Saves Struggling Zoo By Firing All Employees, Getting Rid of Cages
On Today NOW!, the savvy businessman who turned a zoo on the verge of bankruptcy into a money-making machine shares management tips with Jim and ...
Teach For America Chews Up, Spits Out Another Ethnic-Studies Major
NEW YORK—Teach For America has devoured another ethnic-studies major, 24-year-old Andy Cuellen reported.
Deadbeat Congressman Spends Time With Constituents For First Time In Months
WATERLOO, IA—Saying it was one of the few times the elected official had opted to show his face in the area all year, disheartened ...
Armageddon Preparedness Tips
Take some time off work and spend your last days free from the bonds of the oppressive and culturally devoid institution that was just about ...
Ace Of Lasagnas
Food 8:30 p.m. EST/7:30 p.m. CST Executive chef Ruff Goldstein rushes to create a lasagna that looks like a flock ...
Horribly Depressed Zookeeper Has Always Had Special Connection With Animals
TULSA, OK—Saying that he has always perceived a “unique connection,” chronically depressed zookeeper Andrew Holcomb, 46, told reporters Wednesday that he shares a deep ...
Animal Planet Reality Show To Put Bear, Antelope, Hawk, Cheetah In Same House
LOS ANGELES—Producers of The Zoo auditioned over 80 different species to find the right mix of personalities.
Bronx Zoo Unveils New Loitering-Teens Exhibit
BRONX, NYAfter months of public anticipation, the Bronx Zoo finally opened its new loitering-teens exhibit Saturday.
Idaville Detective 'Encyclopedia' Brown Found Dead In Library Dumpster
IDAVILLE, FL—In light of this gruesome murder, Idaville's arrest-to-conviction-due-to-obscure-trivia rate is expected to decline sharply.
Your Horoscopes - Week Of November 13, 2012
Aries The stars foretell of a mad prophet rising in the east in the moon's next cycle. They hope this somehow helps you with ...
Panda Born At National Zoo
After five disappointing false pregnancies, Mei Xiang, the female panda at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C., gave birth to a four-ounce cub last ...
SAN DIEGO—Zoo officials agreed that Tammy the boa constrictor is "not the same" after appearing on Leno.
SAN DIEGO—Zoo officials agreed that Tammy the boa constrictor is "not the same" after appearing on Leno.
Area Man Has Complete Prison-Survival Strategy Mapped Out
SANDY SPRINGS, GA—Josh Kroll said that, if jailed, he will steer clear of the weight room, which is where the bullies hang out.

















