February 6, 2016

Great day for fog sports.

POP +1.8%

Popcorn Factory (POP): $10.80 (+$0.19)(+1.8%) Share prices climbed today on word Ohio homemaker Debbie Turnquist had been absolutely bombarded with catalogs and was slowly showing signs of believing $29.99 was an acceptable price for a can of popcorn.

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Monocle-Wearing Oil Baron’s Cigarette Holder Splinters In Clenched Teeth After Hearing Bernie Sanders’ Environmental Platform

GREENWICH, CT—Leaving him visibly seething as he sat in his tufted leather wingback chair in his study, monocle-wearing oil baron Frederick Porter Harriman’s ivory-inlaid cigarette holder reportedly splintered between his clenched teeth upon him hearing presidential candidate Bernie Sanders outline his environmental platform during Thursday night’s Democratic debate.

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