Area Desk Doesn't Mind If People Sit On It Like A Chair Every Once In Awhile

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Vol 49 Issue 30

Tall Women At Higher Risk For Cancer

According to a new study, tall postmenopausal women are more likely to develop cancer than shorter women, with researchers finding that every 4-inch increase in height correlated to a 13 percent higher risk of a variety of cancers.

Lincoln Memorial Vandalized With Green Paint

Police closed the Lincoln Memorial early today after discovering that vandals had splattered green paint along the base of the iconic statue of 16th president Abraham Lincoln, as well as on the monument’s marble floor.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Area Desk Doesn't Mind If People Sit On It Like A Chair Every Once In Awhile

The Royal baby speaks his first words, an unambitious loser with a happy, fulfilling life still lives in his hometown, and a pool owner has a bathing suit that touched his penis you can borrow. It's the week of July 26, 2013.

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