Sit back, relax and let the Star Fix course through your veins. Just weeks after the announcement of his impending divorce, Ashton Kutcher is making tabloid headlines again. Last night the Two And A Half Men star was photographed hanging out in a nightclub with a mysterious black disk rumored to be made of pure evil. For more on this juicy celebri-story welcome gossip columnist Bryan Spees. Hey Angelique. -Hey Brian. So what's the story? According to TMZ, Ashton showed up at trendy LA club Avalon last night around 1am with an evil disk under his arm. -What? Then he spent the rest of the night muttering incantations to it in an incomprehensible tone. I can't believe this. Right in front of everybody, really? Yeah, right in front of everyone. He wasn't even trying to hide it, Angelique. He's obsessed with this disk already. People say Ashton spent the whole night staring at it and his eyes were literally spinning in their sockets. Okay, so what do you know about this disk? Well what we know is it's apparently about 2000 years old and it's been seen with everyone from Roman Emperor Tiberius to Henry VIII. -Whoa, yeah, sounds like it gets around. That's right. Now TMZ says it's originally from another dimension but Gawker is reporting that it was found in Antarctica inside an endless cave that may lead to hell itself. Now there are rumors that People Magazine already offered the odious disk $100,000 for an exclusive interview, but of course no one is sure if it will take it since the disk may not have a need for earthly money, right? Yeah, I'm not sure if it'll take... It's going to take it, Angelique, it's going to take the money. So we all know Ashton is a prolific tweeter. Has he mentioned the controversy at all? He hasn't, no, and he's posted five times already this morning but no tweet mentioning the disk. Okay, so I noticed the disk also appears to have some runes scrawled on it. Do we know what those say? TMZ warns that these words are not to be uttered aloud but apparently all it says is achtu nog hagun akrakatu. Okay, any idea what that means? No, but you know these Hollywood types, probably some sort of yoga. Okay. Bryan what's going on? I don't know what's going on actually. Okay, is there any comment yet from Demi on the disk? Oh no. Oh my God! -Bryan? Okay Bryan. Bryan? Oh well, I guess we lost Bryan. Now Ashton may be in trouble but the press has nothing but good things to say about the cloud of fluttering butterflies that Zooey Deschanel was seen hanging out with in Central Park earlier this week. Coming up... Jennifer Aniston has wedding for herself