Ashton Moves On From Demi, Dating Evil Black Disc

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Ashton Moves On From Demi, Dating Evil Black Disc

Now that Demi is out of the picture, Ashton is up to his old bachelor ways, out on the town with his arms wrapped around a glowing disc hewn in the fires of hell.

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