Blood-Drenched, Berserk CEO Demands More Web Videos

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 28

Captain Actual America Overweight, Hopelessly In Debt

Comic Con is once again marred by the increasingly popular Bully-Con, a weird glitch causes 'The Amazing Spider-Man' to reboot in the middle of the movie, and the 'Richie Rich' comic strip introduces a new, even gayer character.

Bin Laden's Cook Released From Gitmo

After 10 years as a prisoner at Guantánamo Bay, 52-year-old Ibrahim al-Qosi, who served as a cook at an al-Qaeda compound in Afghanistan, was released and allowed to return to Sudan.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Onion Video

Watch More