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Onion Weather Center

Bostonians Urged To Speak Like Normal Human Beings When Communicating With Flood Rescue Personnel

The Onion Weather Center focuses on the Northeast, where it's a perfect day for a wealthy brat to fall off her daddy's horse; flood-ridden Bostonians are urged to use actual words when asking relief workers for help; and the region's minorities are once a...

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  • Predicting the weather with 100 percent accuracy since its inception, the Onion Weather Center can account for the precise spot where every drop of rain or flake of snow has fallen for the past 75 years.

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