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Botanists Discover Trees Are All Slowly Trying To Strangle Each Other

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Charles Koch Orders Sniper To Fire Warning Shot Next To Marco Rubio On Debate Stage

GREENVILLE, SC—In response to the presidential candidate’s unsatisfactory answer to a question about the economic effects of environmental regulations, Koch Industries CEO Charles Koch reportedly ordered a sniper positioned in the rafters of the Greenville Peace Center to fire a warning shot near Marco Rubio’s podium during Saturday’s Republican debate.
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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

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Botanists Discover Trees Are All Slowly Trying To Strangle Each Other

The GOP is secretly relieved they can get started on 2016, a newborn loses all faith in humanity after a record six days, and a munchtrosity is created in the Frito Layboratory. It's the week of September 20, 2012.

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