Bounty Launches Beginner Series For People New To Paper Towels

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Vol 50 Issue 22

Shitty Museum Doesn’t Even Have A Mona Lisa

BOSTON—Sighing in exasperation as he walked out of yet another exhibit, appalled tourist Tom Bellarico confirmed to reporters Monday that the Boston Museum of Fine Arts is so irredeemably shitty that it does not even have a Mona Lisa.

Taco Bell Adds ‘Quesarito’ To Official Menu

After testing out a new menu item called the quesarito in Oklahoma City to much success, Taco Bell has decided to add the new creation, a beef burrito tucked inside a cheese quesadilla, to its official menu.

Mom’s Quirky Friend Turns Out To Be Joakim Noah

CHICAGO—Saying the lively but awkward stranger had long been something of a mystery, local teen Eric Hewer told reporters Thursday that he recently learned his mother’s quirky friend is in fact Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah.
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Bounty Launches Beginner Series For People New To Paper Towels

In an effort to reach out to first-time paper towel users, Procter & Gamble introduced a beginner series of its Bounty paper towel brand Tuesday specifically designed to assist novices in acclimating to the household cleaning product.

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