Brad Pitt Decides To Grow Out Forehead Hair

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Vol 49 Issue 15

Man Hacks Into Plane’s Flight Controls Using Phone App

To draw attention to the vulnerabilities of flight control systems, a security consultant created an app for his Android phone that lets him remotely seize control of a jetliner’s autopilot function, potentially allowing him to alter its flight path...

Peyton Manning Comes Out As Gay For Football

DENVER—In a stunning revelation Friday that sent shockwaves through the NFL, Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning announced during an emotional press conference that he is gay for football. “For many years I’ve struggled with hiding this s...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Brad Pitt Decides To Grow Out Forehead Hair

Leading social media site HarvardConnection is now valued at $400 billion, a couple is making out like its fucking Paris, and a freezing coatless woman has decided it's spring. It's the week of April 12, 2013.

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