Breaking: Bizarre New Bird Species Takes Texas By Storm

In This Section

Content From 2013-11-11

White Texan Wins Election After Pretending To Be Black

A white conservative won a seat on the Houston Community College Board of Trustees after sending out flyers in his predominantly black neighborhood that showed stock images of African-Americans and included an endorsement by a family member who has the sa...

NFL Week 10 Winners And Losers

Onion Sports presents its winners and losers from the 10th week of the NFL season: Winners Jacksonville Jaguars: With their first win in the bag, Jacksonville is only seven games out from the end of the season. Seneca Wallace:...

How Climate Change Will Affect You

According to a United Nations climate report released last week, the world must cut its carbon emissions drastically by 2020 or face an increase in global temperature of 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit or more by the end of the century.

Experts: Jellyfish Taking Over World’s Oceans

Jellyfish populations have boomed across the world in recent years, a phenomenon experts say is likely caused by warming water temperatures and overfishing of jellyfish predators and competitors for food sources.

Report: Running To Factor Greatly In This Week’s Sports

LUBBOCK, TX—According to a report published Friday by the Texas Tech School of Health, Exercise, and Sports Science, every variation of running, from light jogs to full-out sprints, will factor heavily into the execution and outcomes of this week...

Onion Sports’ NFL Week 10 Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL week 10 games: Redskins at Vikings OSN’s Lock Of The Week: Redskins – If the Redskins were to lose this game 34-27, i...

FDA To Ban All Trans Fats

The FDA proposed new guidelines that would ban nearly all artificial trans fats, which are found in products such as frosting, margarine, microwave popcorn, and frozen pizza, a measure that they say could prevent 20,000 heart attacks a year.

Mobile Quarterback Era Not A Thing

BRISTOL, CT—Refuting numerous claims recently asserted in the world of football analysis, sources confirmed Friday that the so-called mobile quarterback era—a trend in the NFL in which the league supposedly is being dominated by aggressive, ru...

Lady Gaga To Sing In Outer Space In 2015

As part of the Zero G Colony festival that is set to take place in early 2015 at Spaceport America in New Mexico, Lady Gaga will perform a single song aboard a Virgin Galactic spaceflight, becoming the first pop star to sing in space.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comedy

Race Relations

Breaking: Bizarre New Bird Species Takes Texas By Storm

Reports are coming in that the state of Texas is under siege. The culprit? White Wing, an odd, never-before-seen bird thought to originate from the town of Shiner.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More