CEO Has Special Knack For Recognizing Great Ideas And Ruining Them

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Vol 49 Issue 35

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Tough Season returns with a gritty, hard-hitting look inside the fantasy football locker room of Brad’s Awesome Team.

The Case For And Against Intervening In Syria

While the Obama administration has been considering an armed intervention in Syria following the gassing deaths of hundreds of Syrian civilians, a vocal movement in Congress and among the general public has emerged in opposition of any U.S.

Courtroom Artist Clearly Infatuated With Bailiff

The Syria conflict intensifies as bears enter the war, a report shows that millions of courageous Americans are overcoming the media pressure to be thin, and the nation’s single men announce a plan to change their bedsheets by 2019.

50% Of Americans Oppose Intervention In Syria

According to an NBC poll, 50 percent of Americans oppose the use of military force against Syria in the wake of a purported chemical weapons attack by the government of Bashar al-Assad, compared to 42 percent who support military action.
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CEO Has Special Knack For Recognizing Great Ideas And Ruining Them

BALTIMORE—Employees at local technology firm Halverson Enterprises remarked to reporters Monday that CEO Peter Weathers, 61, has an extraordinary gift for discovering great ideas and then swiftly running them into the ground with his horrible modifications. “He’s just incredible at picking out the best proposal, watering it down, putting the wrong person in charge of it, and then abandoning the whole thing once it’s clear that he’s created a complete fucking train wreck,” said senior sales manager Francesca O’Toole, who added that even more remarkable was the virtuoso CEO’s knack at recklessly sinking enormous sums of the company’s money into the plans after he had thoroughly destroyed anything worthwhile about them. “It’s pretty incredible to watch [Weathers] walk into a project proposal meeting, commandeer the ideas that you’ve spent weeks tirelessly crafting, and then, in a split second, just transform them into total goddamn wastes of everyone’s time and energy. That’s the special ‘Weathers touch’ that really makes it obvious what a rare talent he is.” Sources also confirmed that Weathers has an undeniable flair for blaming someone else after the plans he had butchered inevitably failed.

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