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    Chris Bosh Proves Himself Not To Be An Ostrich By Winning Championship

    3:04

    It's an Independence Day Firework To Your Head, as Doc and Kenny celebrate Bosh proving himself a non-ostrich, Federer tracking crabgrass into Wimbledon, and the Diamondbacks fleeing from a scary bug.

    Recent News
    OSN GOOMF
    All Videos
    • Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard

      1:29

      Potentially offering hope to millions of Americans struggling with psychological and emotional problems, a study published this week in The New England Journal Of Medicine found that test subjects were capable of fully resolving their anxiety by thinking ...

    • Web Series Reaches 100 Views

      2:16

      A comedic webisode about two roommates became a viral sensation this week after reaching the unprecedented 100 view milestone.

    • Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Starbucks Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning?

      2:22

      The trio spent hours talking, prompting Hollywood to worry that they could be working on a project together.

    • Every Glass In Grandmother’s Cupboard Visibly Filthy

      2:52

      Sasha Obama becomes suspicious after doing a little digging around on Benghazi, this has to be the year a local miniature golf course goes out of business, and a dude with a knit hat at a party calls beer 'libations.' It's the week of May 17, 2013

    • Sponsored Content Pretty Fucking Awesome

      1:16

      Media consumers across the United States are reporting this week that sponsored content—articles and videos paid for by advertisers and distributed by print and digital publications—is easily the coolest ... Full Report

    • Possum Gazes Longingly At Family Walking Dog

      2:26

      A heartbroken Chris Brown always thought Rihanna was the woman he'd beat to death, a mentally unstable man is planning on exhibiting one or two more warning signs before finally doing this, and a snooze button time travler sets his coordinates for 5-minut...

    • Mentally Unstable Man To Exhibit 1 Or 2 More Warning Signs Before Finally Doing This

      1:09

      Local mentally ill man Michael Redding, 26, announced his intention Thursday to display one or two further instances of troubling behavior before finally going ahead and carrying out what he has planned.

    • Malicious Focus Group Convinces Marketers Cinnamon Mountain Dew Is The Next Big Thing

      1:29

      Following the saboteur antics of a prankster focus group that reportedly convinced company officials the drink was not only palatable but delicious, PepsiCo announced Thursday the launch of its new Mountain Dew CinnaBlast beverage.

    • Seedless Watermelon Coming To Grips With Fact It’ll Never Be Able To Have Kids

      3:02

      UMass Dartmouth is beginning to regret offering a course in Applied Domestic Terrorism, a social media rockstar makes $28,000 a year, and Miami Dolphins wide receiver Mike Wallace comes out as a stupid asshole.

    • Social Media Rock Star Makes $28,000 Per Year

      1:35

      Widely regarded as one of the online world’s brightest personalities, sources confirmed Friday that famed 28-year-old social media rock star Ryan Wasserman, better known as @RWthinks by his legions of passionate fans, makes roughly $28,000 per year.

    • Government-Issued PSA Urging Teens To Fuck Their Brains Out

      1:44

      The above is a 2008 PSA issued by the Department of Health and Human Services in support of the “Fuck Your Brains Out” sex education program.

    • Middle-Aged Funeral Director Buys Flashy Red Hearse

      2:19

      A study finds that wolf attacks are still the leading cause of death in America, a man says 'fuck it' and eats lunch and 10:58 a.m., and Dzhokar Tsarnaev posts bail.

    • Man Says 'Fuck It,' Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M.

      1:01

      Reasoning that he’s a grown adult who can eat food whenever he damn well pleases, local man Kyle Dunedin, 30, reportedly decided at 10:58 a.m.

    • There Are People In World Who Are Concerned About Current State Of Hip-Hop

      1:45

      A report published Friday by a team of sociologists has confirmed there are apparently people living in the world today who are deeply concerned about the current state of hip-hop and who continually express genuine worry over the musical genre’s fu...

    • Catholic Teen's Life Ends At Conception

      2:42

      Next week's school shooting victims thank the members of Senate for failing to pass the gun bill, the cutest guy in an office is not particularly attractive, and an area man is tired of rushing home to hug his loved ones.

    • Onion News Empire Official Trailer

      0:55

      Watch Onion News Empire, Episode 1 now.

    • VIRAL VIDEO: High School Sophomore Sinks Incredible, Unnecessary Half-Court Shot

      2:41

      Ryan Jurgens rode the bench most of the season, but when his coach gave him a chance, it really paid off!

    • Cutest Guy In Whole Office Not Even Particularly Attractive

      1:17

      Saying that he’s “okay-looking but definitely nothing special,” employees at Southeastern Publishing Services reported Wednesday that Brian Tyler, a 27-year-old digital communications coordinator widely considered to be the cutest guy in...

    • Brad Pitt Decides To Grow Out Forehead Hair

      3:05

      Leading social media site HarvardConnection is now valued at $400 billion, a couple is making out like its fucking Paris, and a freezing coatless woman has decided it's spring.

    • Excited Man Only 2 Therapy Sessions Away From Resolving Issues

      1:12

      After over seven years of weekly meetings with his psychiatrist, 35-year-old Chris Vaughan told reporters Friday he is thrilled to be just two 45-minute sessions away from completely resolving all of his problems. 

    • Couple Making Out At Bus Stop Like It's Fucking Paris 

      1:21

      According to locals waiting for the westbound number 66 shuttle at Chicago Avenue and Racine Avenue, a young man and woman seated on a bench at the bus stop are currently making out like it’s fucking Paris or something.

    • How One Hot New Device Helps Couples Drag Out Their Doomed Relationship That Extra Month Or Two

      2:59

      The amazing new "Relationship Pro" video game controller lets both members of a couple pretend they are in a healthy relationship.

    • Popular Children's Book Author Reveals The 'Spooky Truth' About Creepy Conspiracy Theories

      4:18

      The bestselling author of “The Spooky Truth” series wants to teach kids that pulling back the curtain on what the government doesn’t want us to know can be fun!

    • Report: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-Expression

      1:13

      While declaring that the musical instrument was by no means ideally suited to the task, a report released by the National Endowment for the Arts Thursday concluded that the saxophone nevertheless remains a fairly decent vehicle for expressing one’s ...

    • Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like Schoolgirl

      2:42

      An aquarium unveils its new 'Floating Carcasses of the Pacific' exhibit, a guy with 10,000 tweets and 15 followers is about ready to hang it up, and a local father buys string cheese to make coming to his house more fun. It's the week of March 29, 2013.

    • Ashamed Student Affairs Committee Reveals There Aren’t Any Awesome Events Happening On Campus This Weekend

      1:07

      Expressing shame and remorse in an email to the students of Hamilton College on Friday, disgraced student affairs coordinator Jessica Li, 20, regretfully informed undergraduates that there would be no cool events occurring on campus this weekend.

    • Finance Expert Saves Struggling Zoo By Firing All Employees, Getting Rid of Cages

      2:56
      On Today NOW!, the savvy businessman who turned a zoo on the verge of bankruptcy into a money-making machine shares management tips with Jim and Tracy.
    • Guy With 10,000 Tweets, 15 Followers About Ready To Hang It Up

      1:23

      Saying that he’s probably done all he could possibly do at this point, Twitter user Aaron Gartner confirmed Tuesday that after posting 10,000 tweets and accumulating just 15 followers, the 26-year-old is pretty much ready to pack it in and discontin...

    • Lance Armstrong's Publicity Team Playing Up The 1993 Norway Road Race Title He Still Has

      3:10

      Doc and Kenny read and shout the mail, with letters about the racist Cleveland Indians, Lance Armstrong in Norway, a shy Adrian Gonzalez, and a special surprise in this season finale.

    • Ichiro Suzuki Convinces Yankee Teammates That It's Good Luck To Lick His Elbow

      2:50

      Doc's back on the road and Kenny's at home as they yell about Roger Goodell secretly making the NFL's preseason games count, Ichiro Suzuki making the Yanks lick his elbow, and a fluctuating market for Tarvaris Jackson.

    • Chicago Cubs Combine Seven Players To Form One Giant Player Called "Chicagazor"

      2:48

      The GOOMF guys yell somewhat coherently about a water polo defection, the Cubs' new seven-player "ChicagaZor," and Jeff Saturday wasting away without Peyton Manning.

    • London Authorities Cracking Down On Dangerous "Night Olympics"

      3:04

      Doc has finally arrived in London to crash his face with Kenny's over the dangerous Night Olympics, the shot putters' glorious forearms, and the Queen's likely racism.

    • Coach K Hires Coxswain To Keep USA Basketball Team Motivated And In Rhythm

      2:59

      Tim Devannon and Kenny Kennedy are back in London to discuss Coach K's new coxswain, China's fake Britain, and rowers discovering the sail.

    • God Tells IOC President To Build Ark, Gather 2 Olympians From Each Sport

      2:49

      Kenny from GOOMF and Tim Devannon from the Steam Room are in London to discuss God's new ark full of Olympians and the children whose heads will hold the apples for the archery competition.

    • Penn State Offers Victims The Chance To Vandalize Joe Paterno's Statue

      2:48

      The forecast is cloudy on this week's GOOMF, as Penn State is begging Sandusky victims to vandalize Paterno's statue, and the British Open is haunted by former golfers who have been trapped for years in its bunkers.

    • Cubs Finally Remove Wrigley Field Ivy After Third Outfielder Hangs Himself On A Vine

      2:34

      In a Face Off of bile-screaming proportions, Doc and Kenny debate Wrigley Field’s removal of its noose-friendly vines, the NBA’s 30 team trade, and Peyton Manning’s elite shopping abilities.

    • Chris Bosh Proves Himself Not To Be An Ostrich By Winning Championship

      3:04

      It's an Independence Day Firework To Your Head, as Doc and Kenny celebrate Bosh proving himself a non-ostrich, Federer tracking crabgrass into Wimbledon, and the Diamondbacks fleeing from a scary bug.

    • Nike Releases New Olympic Track Suits Designed to Limit Penis Wind Resistance

      3:02

      In this week's GOOMF, Doc and Kenny pick their own poison, downing lethal doses of Dale Jr.'s new losing streak, the Heat's Chalmers-based offense, and Nike's tracksuit that streamlines the penis.

    • Chris Bosh Struggling Through Belly Rub Addiction as Game 2 Nears

      2:37

      The Face is Off and the hate is real as Kenny and Doc discuss Bosh's new addiction to belly rubs, the Marlin's child-targeting, t-shirt firing drones, and NBA ref Joey Crawford's recent ejection slump.

    • Insecure Miami Heat Can't Figure Out Who Garnett Called a "Sloppy-Chested Shit"

      2:54

      In Doc and Kenny's return to GOOMF, Kevin Garnett has thrown the Heat into identity crisis, a trailblazing jockey rides directly on his horse's head, and the Braves are in the market for a 2010 Jason Heyward.

    • Stephen Strasburg Ceremoniously Re-Injures Arm On Opening Day

      2:45

      Doc and Kenny catch a case of bullet-breath as they pull the trigger on Stephen Strasburg’s Opening Day ceremony, Kentucky’s draft prospects, and the Charlotte Bobcat’s first ever dunk.

    • After 1 Week In New York Tim Tebow Already A Gay, Homeless Crack Addict

      2:41

      Tim Tebow has fallen into sin, Tiger Woods is adequate again, and the Mets are questionable for opening day, but Doc Brooks and Kenny Kennedy still hate each other.

    • Broncos Receivers Worried Peyton Manning Going To Expose How Bad They Are

      2:47

      Doc and Kenny answer "fan mail" about terrible receivers in Denver, confusing NCAA-upset sex, and Bryce Harper's dickishness.

    • Nation Abuzz With Prospect Of 18-Year-Old Boys Having Their Dreams Crushed

      2:39

      It's a joyous GOOMF as Doc and Kenny revel in the pain of the NCAA Tournament’s losers, the idiotic Redskins, and the ailing Jeremy Lin.

    • Knicks Trade Jeremy Lin For Selfish Asshole Who Plays Knicks-Style Basketball

      2:42

      After another bite of sour fish, Doc struggles to hold down the Jeremy Lin trade, Derrick Rose in a gurney, and the wusses on the Mariners.

    • Eli Manning Asks Dad If He Can Stop Playing Football Now

      0:57

      Eli Manning wins the Super Bowl, but not his freedom from football. It's a special GOOMF Blast!

    • Peyton Manning Goes On 3-Day Football-Playing Binge After Being Dumped By Colts

      2:36

      News is breaking all over Indy as the Giants reveal their plans to tackle Tom Brady, Belichick rallies the troops with genital mutilation, and Peyton Manning gets over the Colts with some casual football.

    • Football Fans Excited To Watch Patriots Or Giants Lose Super Bowl

      2:40

      Reggie tries not to agree with Doc as they discuss the soon-to-be Super Bowl losers, who the hell Marco Scutaro is, and Tom Coughlin’s impending death at the hands of Bill Belichick.

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    Seedless Watermelon Coming To Grips With Fact It’ll Never Be Able To Have Kids

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    Social Media Rock Star Makes $28,000 Per Year

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