College Freshman's Roommate Has Had Excuse To Go Home Every Weekend Since August

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Vol 49 Issue 03

Bowling!

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Bill Belichick Builds New Tight End From Mutilated Dog Parts

FOXBOROUGH, MA—In a savage and gruesome turn of events, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick reportedly slaughtered a half-dozen dogs adopted from the humane society Friday, sewing together the dismembered body parts to construct a new, horrific tight...
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College Freshman's Roommate Has Had Excuse To Go Home Every Weekend Since August

Citing various family emergencies, last-minute weddings, and impromptu hometown gatherings, the roommate of Indiana University freshman Lawrence Plotnick has had an excuse to go home every weekend this academic year, according to campus reports.

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