Democrats: Obama Has Dicked Us Around For Four Years, Now It's Our Turn

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Vol 48 Issue 15

April 17

Sandalwood Circle residents are advised that the Baumgartners will be having pretty loud sex this Tuesday shortly after 9 p.m.

Glass Ceiling Business

"All the feminist movement needed to do was bring on someone who had the balls to do something about this glass ceiling business." - Peter "Buck" McGowan, chief of the worldwide initiative for women's rights
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • Entire Room Mentally Shaving Man's Facial Hair

    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

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