Diane Sawyer Introduces New Foul-Mouthed, Cigar-Chomping Character To 'ABC World News'

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Vol 49 Issue 03

Bowling!

Let’s go! Come on, it’ll be fun. Have you ever been to the Lucky Star Lanes? They turn on a bunch of neon lights and play disco music after 9!

Bill Belichick Builds New Tight End From Mutilated Dog Parts

FOXBOROUGH, MA—In a savage and gruesome turn of events, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick reportedly slaughtered a half-dozen dogs adopted from the humane society Friday, sewing together the dismembered body parts to construct a new, horrific tight...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

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Diane Sawyer Introduces New Foul-Mouthed, Cigar-Chomping Character To 'ABC World News'

A report finds that most small businesses failed in the first 6 hours of being on fire, the Osama bin Laden foundation awards fellowships to 20 promising young terrorists, and the NYPD finds a super-sharp Buck knife. It's the week of January 18, 2013.

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