Father Who Messed Up Visitation Schedule Consumes Entire Dora The Explorer Birthday Cake

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Vol 47 Issue 40

Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died

BOSTON—Calling the death a “tragic loss” and saying he was “truly devastated by the news,” self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the company’s former CEO Steve Jobs as if his fucking dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Father Who Messed Up Visitation Schedule Consumes Entire Dora The Explorer Birthday Cake

Congress takes a group of schoolchildren hostage, Vice President Biden invites a visiting ambassador to check out the White House roof, and the 2011 newborns are the ugliest babies in thirty years. It's the week of September 26th, 2011.

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