Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again By Sneezing During Meeting

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Vol 45 Issue 43

WNBA Franchise Moving To Tulsa Sounds About Right

DETROIT—A recent announcement that the WNBA's Detroit Shock would be moving to Tulsa, OK next season seemed pretty much in line with what one would expect from the women's professional basketball league, observers told reporters Sunday.

Sound Strategy Booed

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Completely ignoring the benefits of proper time management, the establishment of good field position, and patience, Jaguars...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Comfort

  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

Onion Video

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