GOP Race Heats Up As Candidate In Coma More Appealing Than Rest of Field

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Vol 47 Issue 42

Another U.S. Downgrade Looming

Due to the inability of Congress to make any long-term budget fixes, experts are predicting another credit-rating downgrade for the United States.

Republican Presidential Debate

Fox News 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT For 35 minutes, former Utah governor Jon Huntsman tries and fails to shoehorn his sensible opinion into the debate before finally blurting out "People on welfare should starve to death" in order to get the moderato...

Something Sliding Around In Coffin

The government reduces Bernie Madoff's sentence in exchange for infiltrating and fixing the economy, leaf hunting season begins, and something is sliding around in this coffin. It's the week of October 17th, 2011.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Personal Finance

GOP Race Heats Up As Candidate In Coma More Appealing Than Rest of Field

Voters seem to be responding to former congressman, John Clarkson's record of avoiding Washington infighting, political scandal, and embarrassing gaffes by being in a coma for the last eight years. The comatose candidate has pulled ahead of Romney in polls to be the current frontrunner in the GOP presidential race.

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