Group Of Hunky Cardinals Appeals To Pope To Relax Celibacy Requirement

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Vol 48 Issue 24

U.S. Improves Infrastructure With Transnational Power Strip

WASHINGTON—In a sweeping effort aimed at overhauling the nation's aging infrastructure, the United States on Sunday unveiled a 3,000-mile transnational power strip, which officials said would provide Americans with 126 billion new electrical outlets...

American Under-Preppers

National Geographic 8:00 p.m. EST/7:00 9.m. CST Ted buys some balsa wood that's on special; Amy skims instructions on how to can food; Nate's guessed his covered swimming pool would shelter his family from the more lethal parts of nuclear fallout.

Stress Up Since 1983

According to a Carnegie Mellon University study, stress levels in the United States increased 18 percent for women and 24 percent for men between 1983 and 2009.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Holiday

Group Of Hunky Cardinals Appeals To Pope To Relax Celibacy Requirement

Mitt Romney spends most of a factory visit yelling at employees to work harder, the deep, orange sun beautifully sets on Topher Grace's career, and a man on the verge of self-realization instead turns to God. It's the week of June 11th, 2012.

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