00:00:11.630,00:00:13.500 Gregory Dawson: I'm Gregory Dawson filling in for Clifford Banes 00:00:13.670,00:00:14.940 who was hit by two cars. 00:00:15.210,00:00:18.120 The first car threw him into the path of the second car. 00:00:18.720,00:00:22.830 The unemployment crisis has worsened in recent months with little sign of recovery. 00:00:23.070,00:00:26.210 Should the nation's millions of unemployed spring for a new Apple computer, 00:00:26.410,00:00:28.350 given that it might assist them in a job search? 00:00:28.480,00:00:29.550 David Barrodale: Absolutely they should. Jason Copeland: The timing is right. 00:00:29.720,00:00:32.170 David Barrodale: Of course, it's expensive, but the unemployed need a Mac 00:00:32.340,00:00:34.780 to stay on top of job listings, update their cover letter. 00:00:34.980,00:00:37.350 Jason Copeland: And Macs come with iMovie, so they can edit together 00:00:37.520,00:00:39.290 a neat little video résumé which is [cross-talking] -- 00:00:39.590,00:00:42.330 Duncan Birch: Guys, guys, I'm really sorry. I forgot to bring the cups today. 00:00:42.500,00:00:45.140 I didn't know we'd be drinking the Apple Kool-Aid here. 00:00:45.240,00:00:47.370 Jason Copeland: Well, here we go. Duncan Birch: I think cash-strapped 00:00:47.460,00:00:51.260 Americans don't need to spend an extra $800 for a stupid little glowing Apple logo 00:00:51.460,00:00:53.130 on their computer because that's all you're getting. 00:00:53.300,00:00:55.870 Lauralee Hickock: Wait, I don't understand why an unemployed person needs 00:00:56.040,00:00:58.680 a new computer at all. Did their old ones stop working? 00:00:59.020,00:01:01.750 David Barrodale: Well, no, Lauralee, but you know, it's important to stay 00:01:01.890,00:01:04.070 on top of the latest hardware. Jason Copeland: Right. And plus, 00:01:04.240,00:01:07.750 you know, if they get a MacBook Pro, they could use it to learn graphic design. 00:01:07.910,00:01:08.710 David Barrodale: Exactly [cross-talking] -- 00:01:09.100,00:01:10.850 Jason Copeland: Which is, like, I mean they can pick up freelance graphic design 00:01:10.990,00:01:13.130 work while they're waiting for a new full-time [cross-talking] -- 00:01:13.240,00:01:14.160 Gregory Dawson: Yes, I need to teach myself graphic design. 00:01:14.330,00:01:15.530 I keep telling myself I'm going to do it, but you know, I never do. 00:01:15.700,00:01:19.170 Duncan Birch: But why spend thousands, why are we spending thousands 00:01:19.280,00:01:22.690 on a tiny toy, which is all it is, when you can go down to Best Buy 00:01:22.830,00:01:24.400 and for $400, you get a Toshiba? 00:01:24.560,00:01:27.100 Lauralee Hickock: I still don't understand why the unemployed don't use 00:01:27.270,00:01:30.130 the computer that they have out in their garage. 00:01:30.250,00:01:34.330 Like mine, I go out there, I turn it on, and there in the folder marked "Recipes" 00:01:34.560,00:01:35.630 are my recipes. 00:01:35.870,00:01:38.480 David Barrodale: But Lauralee, if yo want to work in a creative field, you need a Mac. 00:01:38.610,00:01:41.350 Jason Copeland: A Mac is THE tool for creative professionals. 00:01:41.660,00:01:44.660 When I go into a café and I see somebody using a Dell computer -- 00:01:44.820,00:01:46.060 David Barrodale: Oh! Jason Copeland: I turn the other way. 00:01:46.230,00:01:48.040 I'm, like, what, is he working on his manifesto? 00:01:48.340,00:01:51.310 Duncan Birch: Oh yes, Mr. Jobs, whatever you say, Mr. Jobs. 00:01:51.480,00:01:53.590 Gregory Dawson: And Apple, may I remind you, is not the only corporation 00:01:53.790,00:01:56.260 that's vital to the needs of the unemployed at this difficult time. 00:01:56.610,00:01:58.470 Netflix, Starbucks. Jason Copeland: You need a Starbucks boost 00:01:58.790,00:02:00.570 when you're spending all day filling out your LinkedIn profile. 00:02:00.780,00:02:02.370 Lauralee Hickock: Are we still talking about computers? 00:02:02.710,00:02:06.160 Because aren't there Kinko's on every single corner -- 00:02:06.360,00:02:07.530 Jason Copeland: Kinko's, what are we? I mean -- 00:02:07.730,00:02:09.270 Lauralee Hickock: -- where you can use their computers if you really need to? 00:02:09.400,00:02:11.870 Jason Copeland: Look, the fact is that Americans should be supporting innovation. 00:02:12.050,00:02:13.720 That's what drives the economy, spending. 00:02:13.920,00:02:15.930 Lauralee Hickock: But wasn't the recent financial crisis caused by 00:02:16.090,00:02:19.170 a liquidity shortfall of just this kind of overspending? 00:02:19.370,00:02:22.820 I mean didn't the subprime mortgage fiasco teach us that if we -- 00:02:22.950,00:02:26.330 David Braddock: Lauralee, shut up! You don't know anything, okay? 00:02:26.530,00:02:30.610 You can't participate in this conversation because you don't know the specifics 00:02:30.770,00:02:34.220 of what we're talking about! Your opinion is not valid! 00:02:34.460,00:02:37.190 It doesn't matter! Jason Copeland: David has a point, Lauralee. 00:02:37.290,00:02:40.570 I mean you really just don’t seem to understand anything that we're discussing. 00:02:41.200,00:02:43.930 Gregory Dawson: Lauralee, you can go. 00:02:45.080,00:02:47.250 I'm serious. You should go. 00:02:51.400,00:02:52.900 Lauralee Hickock: Okay. 00:02:57.790,00:03:01.770 Female Speaker: Oprah shocked her studio audience today by revealing a second Oprah. 00:03:01.870,00:03:04.580 Stay tuned to the Onion News Network for more on that story.