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James, Wade, Bosh Unveil New Rules For Basketball

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Extreme Storms To Rip Through Godforsaken Midwestern Wasteland

The Onion Weather Center focuses on the Midwest, where a storm system should recede into the distance like any hope of a stable economic future; a tornado bears down on a podunk, backwater hick town; and field reporter Matt Jennings is live from God knows where.
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James, Wade, Bosh Unveil New Rules For Basketball

The Miami trio reportedly stayed up all night at their secret clubhouse drafting the rules, which they say will make basketball "a million times cooler and more fun."

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