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Laid-Off Man Finally Achieves Perfect Work-Life Balance

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Laid-Off Man Finally Achieves Perfect Work-Life Balance

IRVINE, CA—Just two weeks after being laid off from the tech firm where he worked as a coder, 34-year-old Sam Morrison told sources Monday that he had finally achieved the perfect work-life balance. “It’s been great; this new schedule allows me to spend more time with my wife and kids, get together with friends, and I can even squeeze in a few hours of TV here and there—I’ve finally found the mix of career and personal life that works for me,” explained the stress-free man, who credited the shift to helping him get on a regular sleep cycle and workout regimen for the first time in years. “Lately I’m feeling less overwhelmed, I’m more upbeat, and I’m finally writing again. It’s really all about having good time management.” As of press time, Morrison was doing yoga in his backyard as his mortgage payment became overdue.

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