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    Live From Congress: Representative Wants To See, Meet More Kids Online

    2:08
    Rep. Gelinas proposes an educational bill to increase the number of young people he meets in under-13 chat rooms.
    Recent News
    O-SPAN
    All Videos
    • Report: Economy Just One Speech Away From Recovery

      3:02

      Dick Van Dyke finally confesses to the Zodiac killings, the open dialogue two Americans are having about race is pretty hilarious, and a fucking loser is at a movie all by himself.

    • Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times 

      2:14

      In a new report released Wednesday by the Pew Research center, Americans indicated that when it comes to what they expect from their country, all they really want is to be safe, happy, rich, comfortable, and entertained at absolutely all times.

    • Area Desk Doesn't Mind If People Sit On It Like A Chair Every Once In Awhile

      3:21

      The Royal baby speaks his first words, an unambitious loser with a happy, fulfilling life still lives in his hometown, and a pool owner has a bathing suit that touched his penis you can borrow.

    • Economists: People Who Paint Selves Silver And Pretend To Be Statues Make Average Of $10 Million Per Year

      1:38

      Economists at Harvard University released a new study this week indicating that Americans who paint themselves silver and pretend to be statues in public spaces make, on average, $10 million per year.

    • Perfectly Shitty Couch Sitting On Curb

      2:33

      The nation throws its hands up and tells black teens to be careful out there, J.K. Rowling is revealed to be the pseudonym of Newt Gingrich, and the FBI is offering $1 million for any information on cheetahs.

    • FBI Offering $1 Million Reward For Any Information On Cheetahs

      1:06

      The FBI is asking any Americans with information about the eating habits, top speed, fighting abilities, or other general interest knowledge of cheetahs to contact them immediately in return for a one million dollar reward. Full Report.

    • Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts'

      1:06

      Producers insist that the beloved characters are merely friends and that “gay” doesn’t remotely describe their bizarre underworld of sexual deviance.

    • New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

      1:54

      Tech Trends looks at the new Samsung Apex, a wearable computing device that streams videos into one eye, the internet into the other, and sucks your cock all at the same time.

    • Serious Coworker Puts Headphones On To Focus On Sandwich

      2:52

      Red Roof Inn announces its new Suicidal Suite, the FBI can’t bring themselves to bust a guy torrenting every season of ‘Picket Fences,’ and zoo visitors watch the mating rituals of the ice cream shop staff.

    • Red Roof Inn Announces New Suicidal Suite

      2:03

      In an effort to cater to customers who have lost the will to live, economy hotel chain Red Roof Inn officially unveiled Thursday its new Suicidal Suite available at each of their locations across the nation.

    • New Tandem Mobility Scooter Released

      2:28

      A dying kid in Houston is holding on until the Astros develop a player worth meeting, fossilized evidence reveals the Spazosaurus was the largest doofus ever to roam the earth, and a Facebook friend is apparently under the impression that Ron Paul is stil...

    • Autopsy Of A Scene: Paul Feig Points Out How Many Ghosts Are In This Scene From 'The Heat'

      1:34

      Director Paul Feig narrates a clip from his new film 'The Heat,' which he says, like 'Bridesmaids,' is a ghost story at heart.

    • 'I Would Be Absolutely Perfect For This,' Report 1,400 People Looking At Same Job Posting

      1:24

      Upon coming across the same job posting Monday for a full-time position at a local startup company, an estimated 1,400 people reportedly described the opening as “a perfect fit” for their qualifications, saying it was exactly the opportunity t...

    • Markets In Turmoil As Price Of Money Skyrockets To $90 A Dollar

      1:36

      After fluctuating wildly this morning between $1 and $35, the price of money spiked to an unprecedented $90 a dollar in afternoon trading, plunging international financial markets into chaos.

    • Milk Rushing Through Jug Handle Having The Time Of Its Life

      2:23

      McDonald's is considering franching restaurants after 70 years of being family owned and operated, the financial sector thinks it's about ready to ruin the world again, and a kidnapping is going pretty smoothly.

    • Will Season Four Of ‘Downton Abbey’ Finally Show The Wizards Using Their Powers?

      1:05

      The popular series about a castle full of wizards and magical servants has been surprisingly magic-free so far, but hopefully that will change in the fourth season.

    • The Onion Looks Back At 'The Wizard Of Oz'

      2:37

      The Onion’s movie critic Peter K. Ronsenthal examines ‘The Wizard of Oz’ in this week’s Film Standard

    • Markets In Turmoil As Price Of Money Skyrockets To $90 A Dollar

      1:36

      After fluctuating wildly this morning between $1 and $35, the price of money spiked to an unprecedented $90 a dollar in afternoon trading, plunging international financial markets into chaos.

    • Milk Rushing Through Jug Handle Having The Time Of Its Life

      2:23

      McDonald's is considering franching restaurants after 70 years of being family owned and operated, the financial sector thinks it's about ready to ruin the world again, and a kidnapping is going pretty smoothly.

    • Will Season Four Of ‘Downton Abbey’ Finally Show The Wizards Using Their Powers?

      1:05

      The popular series about a castle full of wizards and magical servants has been surprisingly magic-free so far, but hopefully that will change in the fourth season.

    • Single Woman Has Facebook Profile Picture With Sister

      2:29

      A report confirms that many Iraqis are still holding a petty grudge about the U.S. invasion, an area man is outraged his private information is being collected by someone other than advertisers, and a new study proves it is impossible to lose weight, no o...

    • Friends Don’t Understand How Man Not Depressed

      1:21

      Citing factors such as his low-paying job, lack of foreseeable prospects, and modest living conditions, sources close to local resident Karl Brewster said Thursday they are at a loss to explain his day-to-day cheerfulness in the face of such a bleak exist...

    • Brendan Fraser: 'I Would Like To Apply For One Kickstarter, Please'

      1:45

      The ‘Mummy’ star joined in on the crowdsourcing trend this week, sending an application and cover letter in to the Kickstarter headquarters.

    • Couple Keeps Marriage Together For The Sake Of No One

      2:22

      Taylor Swift enters an alternate universe to date a body building George Harrison, a study finds that 83 percent of gamblers quit right before they would have hit the big one, and an Asian guy has a separate group of Asian friends.

    • Guy 30 Seconds Into Karaoke Version Of ‘Man In The Mirror’ Better Get His Act Together

      1:58

      Sources at Charley’s Bar and Grille are reporting that local man Peter Kagan, 34, who is currently 30 seconds into a karaoke version of the 1988 Michael Jackson song “Man In The Mirror,” better get his goddamn act together sometime fucki...

    • 'The Internship' Poised To Be Biggest Comedy Of 2005

      1:51

      Critics say the upcoming Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson film about interning at Google has everything an audience in 2005 could want in a comedy.

    • Lifeguard Hoping To Make Up For Last Summer

      2:30

      The U.S. Disc Jockey General urges Americans to get the Led out, a BuzzFeed writer resigns in disgrace after plagarizing '10 Llamas Who Wish They Were Models,' and the new and improved Google maps lets users launch missiles at any location on the globe.

    • Guy Wondering How Much Longer To Keep Picture Of Dead Friend As Profile Pic

      1:33

      SANTA CLARA, CA—With several weeks now having passed since the tragic death of his old college roommate, local man Keith Bisbee told reporters Friday he is uncertain just how long he has to continue using a photograph of his departed friend as his F...

    • O-SPAN Classic: CIA Accidentally Overthrows Costa Rica

      1:57

      In this O-SPAN clip from 1963, the CIA explains that the accidental overthrow was due to "a little miscommunication" while overthrowing some nearby Central American countries.

    • Congress, 1924: Rep. Demands Horses Wear Dresses To Hide Foul Penises

      2:11

      In June 1924 Representative Oliver Shaker (D) condemned government inaction on the issue of publicly exposed horse penis and proposed a law which would federallyr equire horses to wear modesty dresses.

    • Congressmen Submit Emergency 3 AM Bill Demanding IHOP Stay Open All Night

      2:03

      The bipartisan group of representatives who submitted the emergency bill late last night say they stand by it, though they don't completely remember all of the details.

    • Live Feed: Obama Attends The White House Maintenance Staff Annual Dinner

      2:39

      Live O-SPAN coverage of the 75th annual dinner with a special awards presentation to the crew who tirelessly buffed every inch of the White House State Floor this past winter.

    • DEA Official Announces Successful Drug Bust On Son's Room

      1:56

      DEA Official Stephen Lovejoy says Matt Lovejoy was found in possession of 1/8th ounce of marijuana and a glass pipe in defiance of the law and his Mother.

    • Filming Of Congressional Reality Show Disrupts Committee Meeting

      2:14
      Rep. Cummings (D-VA) vows to ignore the haters and rise above the drama during the filming of his new reality series.
    • NASA Scientists Plan To Approach Girl By 2018

      2:27

      The team of scientists says the $19 million dollar mission will put them in direct contact with a woman by 2018.

    • Rep. Seeks Retroactive Immunity For Anyone Who Hit On First Lady Last Night

      1:38

      Rep. Bruce Durant proposes a bill protecting anyone who who may have had a little too much to drink at a White House event and called Michelle Obama a "beautiful queen."

    • Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus

      1:36

      Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.

    • BREAKING NEWS: BAT LOOSE IN CONGRESS

      3:04

      Congress is deadlocked on the best way to get a bat out of their committee chamber.

    • Congresswoman Says Botched Plastic Surgery Most Important Issue Facing U.S.

      1:51
      Rep. Lynn Merriweather says bill will protect the millions of Americans who just want to appear as young as they feel on the inside, that's all.
    • Congressman Demands To Know Who Left Fish Sandwich To Rot On House Floor

      2:46

      Rep. McCullough cannot even fathom the amount of contempt you'd have to hold for Congress, the American people to do something so inconsiderate.

    • Congressman's Son Won't Shut The Hell Up During Hearing

      2:12

      Congressman Eisley conducts hearing on Market Data Protection Reform, restrains self from murdering five year old son.

    • Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All U.S. Dollars

      1:42

      Treasury Officials say the dye used in printed money is extremely toxic and urge Americans to send all their cash to Washington immediately.

    • Congressman’s War Hero Son Would Have Wanted Highway Bill Passed

      2:09

      Rep. David Whittle (D-VA) speaks passionately about how his son, who died in Iraq, would have loved to see this appropriations bill passed.

    • Congressman Offers Preemptive Apology For Extramarital Affair

      2:17
      Rep. Gregory White (D-NH) tearfully asks forgiveness for the degrading and sinful acts he is about to engage in.
    • Congress Debates Adding Elaborate Dance To Obama's Inauguration Ceremony

      2:21
      Rep. Cummings (D-VA) wants to mark Obama’s historic inauguration with an intricately choreographed dance piece of his own creation.
    • President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule

      2:37

      The press secretary tells reporters that before the president can defeat the monster, he'll have to defeat his greatest enemy of all: his own doubts.

    • USDA Official Takes Courageous Stand Against Interstate Countercyclical Potato Pricing

      2:55

      A deputy assistant at the Department of Agriculture speaks truth to power, condemning proposed changes in Idaho's potato output pricing structure.

    • Press Secretary's 'Zumtrel Flooby' Answer May Be Attempt To Evade Question

      2:15

      The press secretary explained the president's economic policy by talking about something called a 'grapewood straab.'

    Onion Review

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    Serious Coworker Puts Headphones On To Focus On Sandwich

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    Red Roof Inn Announces New Suicidal Suite

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    Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts'

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    Obama Aims To Limit Civilian Casualties With Switch To Taser Drones

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