Malicious Focus Group Convinces Marketers Cinnamon Mountain Dew Is The Next Big Thing

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 19

Dog Owners Have Healthier Hearts

The American Heart Association officially announced that people who owned pets, particularly dogs, appeared to have a reduced risk of heart disease and had better survival rates than those without pets.

New to the market!

Lovely two-bedroom, one-bath condo, carefully renovated to retain the intoxicating scent of previous tenant Lisa.

Man Does Good Job Getting Drunk

ETNA, PA—Moments after watching him finish his fifth alcoholic beverage at the Crow’s Nest Bar and Grill Thursday night, sources reported local man Chris Serna, 32, had completed the task of getting drunk with a high degree of efficiency and s...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comedy

Holiday

Malicious Focus Group Convinces Marketers Cinnamon Mountain Dew Is The Next Big Thing

PURCHASE, NY—Following the saboteur antics of a prankster focus group that reportedly convinced company officials the drink was not only palatable but delicious, PepsiCo announced Thursday the launch of its new Mountain Dew CinnaBlast beverage. “CinnaBlast absolutely tested through the roof!” said vice president of marketing Brad Sheets, unaware the enthusiasm expressed by the ill-intentioned group of consumer taste-testers was wholly and deliberately misleading. “They were saying, ‘This is delicious—keep the cinnamon coming!’ And that’s exactly what we did. They also had some great ideas we may try out in the future, like adding nutmeg, putting some cloves in there, or encouraging people to drink it hot.” Reached for comment, members of the spiteful focus group admitted they had almost recommended PepsiCo use a jingle built around Lou Bega’s “Mambo No. 5,” but ultimately decided that would be going too far.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More