ONN Newsroom

Meat Prices Skyrocket After Cow Smashing Machine Gets All Beefed Up

The price of meat in the U.S. hit a record high this week after the big machine that takes all the cows and smashes them got real clogged up with beef.

  • ONN Newsroom
  • 199 Episodes
  • The Onion News Network’s flagship news program, Newsroom, brings you news without mercy 24/7, penetrating deeper into the stories that matter than any human has previously believed possible.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.