Full article.

" /> Full article.


Onion Special Report

Mitt Romney Terrified What Will Happen If He Ever Stops Running For President

Claiming that running for president of the United States is all he knows, Republican nominee Mitt Romney has confided to aides that he is terrified of what will happen to him if he ever stops campaigning for the highest office in the land... Full article.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.