adBlockCheck

Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times 

Top Headlines

Recent News

End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times 

In a new report released Wednesday by the Pew Research center, Americans indicated that when it comes to what they expect from their country, all they really want is to be safe, happy, rich, comfortable, and entertained at absolutely all times.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close