NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams

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Vol 45 Issue 11

Area Man Down To Final Week Of Heyday

CHICAGO—"I'm having a blast," said Brian Konig, unaware that work-related stress and financial responsibility will soon put a tragic end to his personal apex.

Christian Salt Introduced

After reportedly tiring of hearing chefs on television recommend kosher salt, a retired barber has introduced Blessed Christians Salt, which is sea salt blessed by an Episcopal priest. What to you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

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