00:00:05.100,00:00:06.270 Onion News Network 00:00:06.440,00:00:08.860 Building on the success of their Genius bars today, 00:00:08.960,00:00:12.110 Apple stores across the country, unveiled the Friend bar, 00:00:12.310,00:00:16.110 where obsessive apple users can come to discuss Mac products at length. 00:00:16.320,00:00:19.220 Onion News Network tech trends reporter Jeff Tate, has more. 00:00:20.720,00:00:23.520 Thanks Andrea, Apple users looking for someone to talk at, 00:00:23.760,00:00:25.460 about the newest twitter iPhone app, 00:00:25.690,00:00:28.360 or why Safari's an infinitely better browser than Firefox, 00:00:28.660,00:00:32.360 can now simply make an appointment, at Apple's new 'Friend Bar'. 00:00:32.650,00:00:35.640 Free to anyone with an Apple care warranty, the Friend Bar is staffed 00:00:35.840,00:00:39.280 by Apple employees specially trained to carry out lengthy conversations, 00:00:39.510,00:00:41.980 about even the most arcane apple related topics. 00:00:42.540,00:00:45.080 Unlike your girlfriend or your coworkers, we're not going to get tired 00:00:45.280,00:00:48.850 of discussing the wireless networking capabilities of the operating system. 00:00:49.120,00:00:50.250 We're here and we're ready to listen. 00:00:50.450,00:00:53.820 The friend bar is already a success with some Apple fans scheduling 00:00:54.150,00:00:55.960 appointments up to four hours at length. 00:00:56.380,00:01:00.320 It drives me so nuts that Firefox is disabling the plug-in for the main RC3. 00:01:00.700,00:01:04.000 Genius bars across the country are reporting shorter wait times 00:01:04.200,00:01:08.640 as customers who just want to impress Apple employees with their ironic desktop image, 00:01:08.920,00:01:11.270 or their impeccably organized iTunes library, 00:01:11.540,00:01:15.280 are redirected to the Friend Bar, and the discussions don't have to be limited 00:01:15.700,00:01:16.710 to Apple products. 00:01:16.810,00:01:19.680 Friend Bar employees are trained to discuss a range of topics, 00:01:19.780,00:01:22.950 Apple customers are interested in, from finding a good Neapolitan pizza, 00:01:23.410,00:01:26.260 to talking to girls you aren't already in an improv. group with. 00:01:26.520,00:01:28.160 I think what our customers appreciate is the fact that 00:01:28.330,00:01:31.670 they've got a multinational consumer corporation that they can relate to. 00:01:31.760,00:01:34.220 The Friend Bar, is not the only good news for Apple fans. 00:01:34.460,00:01:38.440 The 24 hour friend line connects users to call centers overseas, 00:01:38.680,00:01:41.230 where they can talk about Apple, even after store hours. 00:01:41.570,00:01:44.510 That's just using GarageBand, and I like to use iMovie if I'm just making a slideshow 00:01:44.740,00:01:45.740 or something, but... -Oh yes! 00:01:45.970,00:01:47.670 I'll use Final Cut Express for anything that's more elaborate. 00:01:47.910,00:01:48.610 Of course, sir! 00:01:48.880,00:01:51.180 ... like just yesterday I uploaded some flip footage of these kids skateboarding, and... 00:01:51.410,00:01:52.340 That is very interesting! 00:01:52.580,00:01:55.220 The company also announced that next year it will roll out the iStore, 00:01:55.680,00:01:59.300 A miniature version of an Apple store which customers can set up in their own homes. 00:01:59.490,00:02:01.860 It's going to be about six thousand dollars for the hardware, 00:02:02.280,00:02:05.160 and then there's a month of salary for your personal Apple employee. 00:02:05.390,00:02:07.890 Then of course, anything you buy from the store. 00:02:08.100,00:02:09.600 For Tech trends, I'm Jeff Tate. 00:02:09.800,00:02:10.470 Thank you Jeff. 00:02:10.660,00:02:12.730 Moving on, in a diplomatic show of good will, 00:02:12.900,00:02:16.470 China will be sending two Tibetan monks to the national zoo in Washington. 00:02:17.170,00:02:19.640 A lot of networks report the news as it happens. 00:02:19.840,00:02:23.910 But only one has the power to report the news before it happens. 00:02:24.750,00:02:27.040 Through our state of the art worm hole satellite, 00:02:27.280,00:02:31.280 The Onion News Network future channel, brings you exclusive news transmitions, 00:02:31.550,00:02:33.550 from the year 2137. 00:02:34.050,00:02:35.890 Because to stay ahead in today's world, 00:02:36.220,00:02:40.070 you need to know what's going to happen in tomorrows. 00:02:48.400,00:02:49.530 Still ahead this hour... 00:02:49.870,00:02:52.610 Red Lobster opens factory outlet.