New Program Provides Depressed Americans With Suicide Assistance Dogs

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.


New Program Provides Depressed Americans With Suicide Assistance Dogs

A dad delivers his State of the Union rebuttal directly into the television screen, a new program provides depressed Americans with suicide prevention dogs, and the surgeon general advises being 19 years old with 100 bucks in your pocket and your whole life in front of you. It's the week of January 31, 2014