Obama Befriends Rich Elderly Widow In Hopes She'll Put Nation In Her Will
President Obama denies he's spending hours at billionaire Adelia Scott's bedside as part of a scheme to lower the national debt, but many Americans think otherwise.
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President Obama once again
took time off today
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to visit the bedside of 89-year-old
billionaire widow Mrs. Adelia Scott,
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prompting the White House
to once again deny claims
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that the President is simply
buttering Mrs. Scott
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in hopes that she will leave her money
to the badly indebted US Treasury.
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How could you say that?
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The President has no motives
in befriending Mrs. Scott
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other than to spend time
with a fellow American
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who likes to do the same things
he does – taking walks,
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growing price-winning petunias,
cross stitching, visiting the doctor.
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Of course if Mrs. Scott decides
at some point that she wants to provide
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for the country that’s entirely her decision.
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In the past two weeks alone,
the President has brought Mrs. Scott
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chocolate cordials, watched all six parts
of the BBC’s Pride and Prejudice with her,
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and spent hours listening to her stories
about playing in the Ladies’ Baseball League.
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Oh, Barack and I have a big time.
Yesterday I showed him my kaleidoscope
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that I had as a girl and fed him some
of my famous mashed potatoes.
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Mrs. Scott herself seems either unaware
or unworried by the accusations
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launched against Obama and is enjoying
both the President’s attention and his gifts,
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which include this portrait of the pair.
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Public support of the President’s
actions has been high as well.
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I like that the President isn't afraid
to go out there and get his hands dirty
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and exploit an old woman but not you,
Mrs. Scott, of course
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if you're watching we think you're terrific.
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Obama enjoyed an especially large
bump in the polls
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after his recent visit to Mrs. Scott
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in which he brought along his daughter,
Sasha, dressed in a sailor outfit
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and persuaded her to sing
“On the Good Ship Lollipop”
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as Mrs. Scott clapped in time.
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John Boehner, however, criticized
Obama’s visits to Mrs. Scott
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as a waste of time, saying “All the
President needs to do is ask Mrs. Scott
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to give him a calligraphy lesson
and then slip a new version
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of the will under the handwriting paper.”
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Time does seem to be running short
as other economically distressed nations
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have already began to show up
on Mrs. Scott’s doorstep.
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Other critics say President Obama is
spending too much time with Mrs. Scott
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when he has other ambitious projects
in the works,
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like his plan to learn to count cards
and win back the entire national debt
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in one wild trip to Atlantic City
and his plan to win a large cash prize
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by entering an illegal no-holds barred
coast-to-coast auto race.
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Moving on, Pizza Hut announced record
profits for its new pizza pile today.
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