00:00:01.100,00:00:04.070 Onion News Network 00:00:04.540,00:00:06.750 Today Now! 00:00:08.150,00:00:11.210 Later on in the hour tips for stretching out your vagina without having a baby. 00:00:11.590,00:00:15.580 But first, in today's tough economic times, money stresses can really be overwhelming. 00:00:15.790,00:00:17.500 Yeah, but help is on the way. Author Christine Eckard, 00:00:17.830,00:00:20.700 is here to show us some exercises to reduce stress. Hi Christine. 00:00:21.130,00:00:22.280 -Good morning. -Hi Jim and Tracy. 00:00:22.460,00:00:25.450 Christine, I'm so glad you're here. I'm about ready to snap. -She is. 00:00:25.770,00:00:28.730 The first thing we're going to learn about is problem visualization. 00:00:29.100,00:00:31.040 -Oh, ok. -It's a simple method for reducing stress, 00:00:31.160,00:00:34.150 by assigning an image to represent your anxieties. 00:00:34.340,00:00:35.680 -Ok. -That sounds simple enough. 00:00:35.970,00:00:38.380 The first thing I like to do is imagine my money related stress, 00:00:38.710,00:00:41.810 as the most disgusting, terrifying creature I can think of. 00:00:42.240,00:00:45.160 -Ok. -I like to imagine an ugly, greasy little creature 00:00:45.490,00:00:47.620 with a hooked nose and oily black hair. 00:00:47.860,00:00:49.760 -Oh, he is scary. -I call him the Grabbler, 00:00:50.080,00:00:53.510 because he's a greedy little monster who wants to grabble up all my money. 00:00:53.820,00:00:56.300 Now close your eyes and picture the Grabbler. 00:00:56.820,00:00:57.650 Ok, there he is. 00:00:58.030,00:00:59.830 Now think of all the problems your Grabbler is causing. 00:01:00.070,00:01:02.730 He invented interest rates, like the ones on your credit card. 00:01:03.230,00:01:07.260 He's taking the jobs, because Grabblers only hire their own kind. 00:01:07.550,00:01:08.560 I just want to get rid of him. 00:01:08.850,00:01:11.300 Now imagine the Grabbler slowly disintegrating, 00:01:11.470,00:01:15.570 like a pile of ashes, blown away by a purifying wind. 00:01:15.860,00:01:20.540 And now you're in a peaceful meadow, full of lilies, swaying in a gentle breeze. 00:01:20.830,00:01:24.450 They're not scheming or trying to rob me. 00:01:24.820,00:01:28.060 -Wow, that really works. -What a relief, I feel so relaxed. 00:01:28.400,00:01:31.460 Now this image visualization works for other kinds of stresses besides money. 00:01:31.700,00:01:33.780 Exactly, say you had an argument with someone at work, 00:01:34.060,00:01:38.470 take that social stress and visualize it being due to a Blabbler. 00:01:38.850,00:01:40.270 Blabbler, well look at that. 00:01:40.530,00:01:43.430 Blabblers represent all that negative energy we experience, 00:01:43.680,00:01:45.950 when dealing with difficult personalities. 00:01:45.980,00:01:48.900 You know, the kinds of people who love to argue and complain in nasal voices. 00:01:49.180,00:01:50.840 -Oh, I know people like that. -These stresses are everywhere too. 00:01:51.080,00:01:53.120 They are, they're always lurking like rats. 00:01:53.360,00:01:56.320 You know that's way sometimes meditative exercises aren't enough. 00:01:56.660,00:02:00.600 So, take you mind off your stress by doing something good for yourself, exercise. 00:02:00.930,00:02:03.380 -I know I feel better after my yoga class. -Right, right. 00:02:03.670,00:02:06.500 I will often go for a long walk in the middle of the night, 00:02:06.830,00:02:09.140 to throw flaming bottles at certain houses, 00:02:09.430,00:02:10.540 or even sneak in through the back doors 00:02:10.780,00:02:13.140 and light their curtains on fire while they're asleep. 00:02:13.380,00:02:15.790 Working up a sweat to rid yourself of that stress. 00:02:16.180,00:02:18.540 Alright, well Christine, thanks so much for being our guest this morning. 00:02:18.650,00:02:20.080 -Thanks Christine. -and sharing your advice. 00:02:20.460,00:02:21.710 Everyone should check out Christine's new book, 00:02:21.940,00:02:25.510 "The Solution: Kill all the Grabblers", and it's available in bookstores now. 00:02:25.960,00:02:28.920 And when we come back, why you don't have to wait until after you're forty 00:02:29.210,00:02:30.410 to have sex after forty. 00:02:31.020,00:02:32.080 Still ahead this hour... 00:02:32.420,00:02:36.310 How to protect your home from outside opinions.