Reagan Accepts Republican Nomination, Vows Andre The Giant Will Be Body Slammed If Elected

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How Apple Plans To Rebound From Apple Watch Flop

With sales of the Apple Watch reportedly down 90 percent since its initial release, Apple is suffering in the wearables market and faces a lack of enthusiasm about its latest product. Here are some ways Apple can improve the watch and prevent the company from falling into a slump:

Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.
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Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

Reagan Accepts Republican Nomination, Vows Andre The Giant Will Be Body Slammed If Elected

The Onion looks back at on the day man first walked on the moon—the fucking moon for Christ's sake; the creation of the Bible by a struggling Baltimore book salesman; and Reagan’s promise that Andre the Giant will one day get body slammed if he's elected president.