Scientology Minister Accused Of Molesting Thetans

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Vol 48 Issue 39

The Science Of Sex

Discovery 9:00 p.m. EDT/8:00 p.m. CDT Scientists take an up-close look at what attracts us to each other and why, using clinical words for stuff like “cock” and “fucking.”

Tragic Accident Kills Aspiring Living Person

BOISE, ID—According to friends and family, the automobile accident that claimed the life of area youth Evan Laskin this week tragically cut short the prospects of a talented 18-year-old who had aspired his whole life to be a living person. Those clo...

Voting Begins In Iowa

More than a month before Election Day, residents of key swing state Iowa began casting their ballots at designated polling locations yesterday as part of the state’s early voting process.

Robot Butler

Fox 9:30 p.m. EDT/8:30 p.m. CDT A drink order does not compute, so Robot Butler murders everyone.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Scientology Minister Accused Of Molesting Thetans

The Church of Scientology plunged into scandal Thursday when Frank D. Linehan, a prominent minister who has helped thousands of parishioners move up the Bridge to Total Freedom and achieve Clear, was arrested on 471 charges of molesting alien thetans.

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