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Reporter Investigates Claims He Ruined His Family's Thanksgiving Dinner

Reporter Investigates Claims He Ruined His Family's Thanksgiving Dinner

Wild Fall Break Parties Pose Risks For College Students

Wild Fall Break Parties Pose Risks For College Students

Black Part Of Town Moves Across Town

Black Part Of Town Moves Across Town

Back Of Library Smells Like Weed

Back Of Library Smells Like Weed

This Day In History: Apollo 12 Sent To Moon To Pick Up Trash Left By Apollo 11

This Day In History: Apollo 12 Sent To Moon To Pick Up Trash Left By Apollo 11

Reporter Steps In To Replace Woman's Missing Husband

Reporter Steps In To Replace Woman's Missing Husband

Thousands Of Americans Trapped In 'Animal Hoarders' Marathon

Thousands Of Americans Trapped In 'Animal Hoarders' Marathon

Prevent Identity Theft By Changing Identity Every Three Years

Prevent Identity Theft By Changing Identity Every Three Years

What Is Your Amateur Porn Telling Employers About You?

What Is Your Amateur Porn Telling Employers About You?

NASA Asks Russians To Stop Filming Porn On International Space Station

NASA Asks Russians To Stop Filming Porn On International Space Station

Country Artist Sings About Real America And Its Meth Addicts

Country Artist Sings About Real America And Its Meth Addicts

Teens Hold Clothing Drive For Classmate Who Dresses Really Ugly

Teens Hold Clothing Drive For Classmate Who Dresses Really Ugly

Romney's Numbers Skyrocket After Prostitute Reveals She Paid Him To Sleep With Her

Romney's Numbers Skyrocket After Prostitute Reveals She Paid Him To Sleep With Her

Are Wetland Preserves Simply Dead-Body Dumping Grounds?

Are Wetland Preserves Simply Dead-Body Dumping Grounds?

Breaking Story So New Reporter Literally Has No Information

Breaking Story So New Reporter Literally Has No Information

Reporter Goes Undercover In Chinatown By Wearing Silk Robe

Reporter Goes Undercover In Chinatown By Wearing Silk Robe

Failed Musician Comes Crawling Back To Hometown

Failed Musician Comes Crawling Back To Hometown

High Unemployment Rate Linked To One Man With 42,000 Jobs

High Unemployment Rate Linked To One Man With 42,000 Jobs

Search Crews Continue To Look For Obviously Dead Hikers

Search Crews Continue To Look For Obviously Dead Hikers

Republicans Stalling Obama's Agenda By Speaking, Moving In Slow Motion

Republicans Stalling Obama's Agenda By Speaking, Moving In Slow Motion

In Bipartisan Spirit, Obama Makes Deal To Get Kicked In Balls

In Bipartisan Spirit, Obama Makes Deal To Get Kicked In Balls

Biden Unveils New Health Initiative To Make U.S. Women Hotter

Biden Unveils New Health Initiative To Make U.S. Women Hotter

Kanye West In Feud With Nation Of Syria

Kanye West In Feud With Nation Of Syria

Four American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis

Four American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis

Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them

Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them

Small-Town Mayor Steps Down Amid Scandal Over Forged Coupon

Small-Town Mayor Steps Down Amid Scandal Over Forged Coupon

Nation's First Boombox-Carrying, Rollerskating Congressman Broke Boundaries

Nation's First Boombox-Carrying, Rollerskating Congressman Broke Boundaries

Could The Use Of Flying Death Robots Be Hurting America's Reputation Worldwide?

Could The Use Of Flying Death Robots Be Hurting America's Reputation Worldwide?

Teen's Death Hits Reporter Hard

Teen's Death Hits Reporter Hard

Obama Begs Voters Not To Make His Daughters Switch Schools

Obama Begs Voters Not To Make His Daughters Switch Schools

GOP Introduces New "Mystery Candidate" With Paper Bag Over Head

GOP Introduces New "Mystery Candidate" With Paper Bag Over Head

Panelists Discussing GOP Debate Clearly Didn't Watch It

Panelists Discussing GOP Debate Clearly Didn't Watch It

2011 In Review: Nation Shocked To Find Out Elizabeth Taylor Wasn't Already Dead

2011 In Review: Nation Shocked To Find Out Elizabeth Taylor Wasn't Already Dead

2011 Top Story: One Of Arizona's Many Crazed Gunmen Shoots Congresswoman

2011 Top Story: One Of Arizona's Many Crazed Gunmen Shoots Congresswoman

Jay-Z Fans Brace Themselves For Onslaught Of Horrible Odes To Baby

Jay-Z Fans Brace Themselves For Onslaught Of Horrible Odes To Baby

2011 Top Story: Queen Beds Kate Middleton In Royal Tradition

2011 Top Story: Queen Beds Kate Middleton In Royal Tradition

Did The Media Treat Bachmann Unfairly Because She's An Insane Woman?

Did The Media Treat Bachmann Unfairly Because She's An Insane Woman?

2011 Top Story: Japanese Nuclear Reactor Totally Safe Says Two-Headed Plant Official

2011 Top Story: Japanese Nuclear Reactor Totally Safe Says Two-Headed Plant Official

2011 Top Story:  Navy SEALS Discover Bin Laden Gained 300 Pounds

2011 Top Story: Navy SEALS Discover Bin Laden Gained 300 Pounds

Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall

Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall

Brooke Alvarez Has All The Answers, Even About Particle Physics 

Brooke Alvarez Has All The Answers, Even About Particle Physics 

Year In Review: Revolution In Egypt Either Courageous Or Stupid Depending On Outcome

Year In Review: Revolution In Egypt Either Courageous Or Stupid Depending On Outcome

Year In Review: Renewable Energy Source Encoded In Charlie Sheen's Rants

Year In Review: Renewable Energy Source Encoded In Charlie Sheen's Rants

Chinese Paint Tops List Of This Year's Must-Have Holiday Gifts

Chinese Paint Tops List Of This Year's Must-Have Holiday Gifts

Parents Honor Dead Son's Memory By Keeping Up His Awful Blog

Parents Honor Dead Son's Memory By Keeping Up His Awful Blog

Brooke Alvarez Explains Why There Are So Many People In Prison

Brooke Alvarez Explains Why There Are So Many People In Prison

High Unemployment Linked To Increasing Number Of Face Tattoos

High Unemployment Linked To Increasing Number Of Face Tattoos

Older Hispanic Men Line Up Excitedly For 'Breaking Dawn' Premiere

Older Hispanic Men Line Up Excitedly For 'Breaking Dawn' Premiere

Brooke Alvarez Must Decide Between "Watch The Throne" And "Carter IV"

Brooke Alvarez Must Decide Between "Watch The Throne" And "Carter IV"

Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine

Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted By Prison's Rigid Routine

New Robot Warns When Someone's About To Walk In On You Masturbating

New Robot Warns When Someone's About To Walk In On You Masturbating

Brooke Alvarez Teaches Us How To Deal With Uninformed People

Brooke Alvarez Teaches Us How To Deal With Uninformed People

Jim And Tracy Put On Fat Suits To See What Life Is Really Like For Awful Fat People

Jim And Tracy Put On Fat Suits To See What Life Is Really Like For Awful Fat People

Brooke Alvarez Can Speak News In Any Language

Brooke Alvarez Can Speak News In Any Language

Celebrity Chef Ted Allen Cooks His Favorite Pretentious Foodie Bullshit Meal

Celebrity Chef Ted Allen Cooks His Favorite Pretentious Foodie Bullshit Meal

U.S. Turns To The Makers Of The Foul-Tasting But Very Successful Zico Coconut Water To Help Turn Economy Around

U.S. Turns To The Makers Of The Foul-Tasting But Very Successful Zico Coconut Water To Help Turn Economy Around

Glenn Beck Appears In Revealing Documentary About Brooke Alvarez's Childhood As Russian Cosmonaut

Glenn Beck Appears In Revealing Documentary About Brooke Alvarez's Childhood As Russian Cosmonaut

Brooke Alvarez Names The One Person Who Could Compel Her To Go On 'Dancing With The Stars'

Brooke Alvarez Names The One Person Who Could Compel Her To Go On 'Dancing With The Stars'

Hackers Shut Down January Jones

Hackers Shut Down January Jones

Brooke Alvarez Assures Us Romantics That True Love Does Exist

Brooke Alvarez Assures Us Romantics That True Love Does Exist

How To Protect Your Children On Halloween, A.K.A. The Pedophiles' Christmas

How To Protect Your Children On Halloween, A.K.A. The Pedophiles' Christmas

Comatose John Clarkson Drops Out Of GOP Race Due To Sex Scandal

Comatose John Clarkson Drops Out Of GOP Race Due To Sex Scandal

GOP Race Heats Up As Candidate In Coma More Appealing Than Rest of Field

GOP Race Heats Up As Candidate In Coma More Appealing Than Rest of Field

President's Approval Rating Soars After Punching Wall Street Banker in Face

President's Approval Rating Soars After Punching Wall Street Banker in Face

Brooke Alvarez Has A Chance to Ask Herself A Question

Brooke Alvarez Has A Chance to Ask Herself A Question

Apple Announces Plans To Release Steve Jobs 2

Apple Announces Plans To Release Steve Jobs 2

Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

Brooke Alvarez Tells You How to Look Good for the End of the World

Brooke Alvarez Tells You How to Look Good for the End of the World

Brooke Alvarez Decides Who's the Worst Liar in Washington

Brooke Alvarez Decides Who's the Worst Liar in Washington

Brutal Spouse-Fighting Ring Discovered in Miami Basement

Brutal Spouse-Fighting Ring Discovered in Miami Basement

Brooke Explains Why She Has No Problem with Drunk Texting

Brooke Explains Why She Has No Problem with Drunk Texting

Brooke Alvarez Attempts To Connect With The Common Man By Answering Viewer Questions

Brooke Alvarez Attempts To Connect With The Common Man By Answering Viewer Questions

New Psychedelic Weight Loss Drug Transforms Food Into Monstrous Hallucinations

New Psychedelic Weight Loss Drug Transforms Food Into Monstrous Hallucinations

Brooke Alvarez Explains Why Even Losers on Facebook Deserve Her Attention

Brooke Alvarez Explains Why Even Losers on Facebook Deserve Her Attention

New Law Legalizes Brandishing Guns At Head Level

New Law Legalizes Brandishing Guns At Head Level

Landmark Civil Rights Act Made Racism Slightly Less Overt

Landmark Civil Rights Act Made Racism Slightly Less Overt

Many Doctors Say It's 'High' Time To Legalize Marijuana

Many Doctors Say It's 'High' Time To Legalize Marijuana

Popular 1920s Dance Originated As Way To Terrorize Jews

Popular 1920s Dance Originated As Way To Terrorize Jews

Shelby Cross Takes On Public Indecency By Videotaping Teens Having Sex

Shelby Cross Takes On Public Indecency By Videotaping Teens Having Sex

Small Town's UFO Scare Revealed To Be Alien Hoax

Small Town's UFO Scare Revealed To Be Alien Hoax

New Study Explains Why Comic Sans Font So Hilarious

New Study Explains Why Comic Sans Font So Hilarious

Law Gives All Mistreated Americans Right To Open Casino

Law Gives All Mistreated Americans Right To Open Casino

Supreme Court Rules First Amendment Does Not Apply To Annoying Man

Supreme Court Rules First Amendment Does Not Apply To Annoying Man

Miners Trapped In Life-Threatening Mining Jobs

Miners Trapped In Life-Threatening Mining Jobs

Nation's Singers Rudely Telling DJs How To Do Job

Nation's Singers Rudely Telling DJs How To Do Job

Obama Begs U.S. Not To Embarrass Him In Front Of French

Obama Begs U.S. Not To Embarrass Him In Front Of French

Escort Reveals Affair With That Actor From That Thing

Escort Reveals Affair With That Actor From That Thing

Nation's Climatologists Exhibiting Strange Behavior

Nation's Climatologists Exhibiting Strange Behavior

Tensions Mount After North Korea Destroys All Of Asia

Tensions Mount After North Korea Destroys All Of Asia

Joe Biden Introduces Trio Of Sexy Bodyguards

Joe Biden Introduces Trio Of Sexy Bodyguards

Nation Somehow Failed To Predict Attack By Michael Bay

Nation Somehow Failed To Predict Attack By Michael Bay

Potential School Shooter Gunned Down By Popular Jock

Potential School Shooter Gunned Down By Popular Jock

Anti-Gay Senator's Horse Affair Caught On Tape

Anti-Gay Senator's Horse Affair Caught On Tape

Live: Senator Addresses Rumors Of Horse Affair

Live: Senator Addresses Rumors Of Horse Affair

National Dating Standards Lowered

National Dating Standards Lowered

Shelby Cross Instructs Viewers To Build "Justice Shed"

Shelby Cross Instructs Viewers To Build "Justice Shed"

America's Waitresses: Are They Hitting On You?

America's Waitresses: Are They Hitting On You?

Live: Congress Debates New Sex-Based American Dreams

Live: Congress Debates New Sex-Based American Dreams

Predator Drone TR425 Takes The Stand

Predator Drone TR425 Takes The Stand

Predator Drone Court-Martialed For Afghani Civilian Deaths

Predator Drone Court-Martialed For Afghani Civilian Deaths

Troubled Democrats To Undergo Party Counseling

Troubled Democrats To Undergo Party Counseling

Autistic Reporter: Train Thankfully Unharmed In Crash That Killed One Man

Autistic Reporter: Train Thankfully Unharmed In Crash That Killed One Man

Law Prohibits Nation's Shawnas From Using Tanning Beds

Law Prohibits Nation's Shawnas From Using Tanning Beds

Internet Outage Forces Public Into Street To Voice Their Inane Opinions

Internet Outage Forces Public Into Street To Voice Their Inane Opinions

American Dream Declared Dead As Final Believer Gives Up

American Dream Declared Dead As Final Believer Gives Up

Damaged Women Stage Drunken 2 a.m. March On Washington

Damaged Women Stage Drunken 2 a.m. March On Washington

In Freak Accident, 34 Katherine Heigl Films Released At Once

In Freak Accident, 34 Katherine Heigl Films Released At Once

Cases Of Shaken Manchild Syndrome On The Rise

Cases Of Shaken Manchild Syndrome On The Rise

Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish

Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish

CIA's 'Facebook' Program Dramatically Cut Agency's Costs

CIA's 'Facebook' Program Dramatically Cut Agency's Costs

PSA: Ben Stiller Speaks Out Against Shaken Manchild Syndrome

PSA: Ben Stiller Speaks Out Against Shaken Manchild Syndrome

Panel Of Caged Average Americans Weigh In On Economy

Panel Of Caged Average Americans Weigh In On Economy

Man Becomes GOP Frontrunner After Showing No Interest In Government

Man Becomes GOP Frontrunner After Showing No Interest In Government

Small Town Throws Pride Parade For Only Gay Resident

Small Town Throws Pride Parade For Only Gay Resident

Oklahoma Doctors Can Legally Pretend To Give Abortions

Oklahoma Doctors Can Legally Pretend To Give Abortions

Incomprehensible Shouting Named Official U.S. Language

Incomprehensible Shouting Named Official U.S. Language

Ear Of Genetically Modified Corn Begs For Death

Ear Of Genetically Modified Corn Begs For Death

Man Who Shit Pants In Grade School Awarded Purple Heart

Man Who Shit Pants In Grade School Awarded Purple Heart

Al Qaeda Attacks Internet With Photo Of Adorable Piglet

Al Qaeda Attacks Internet With Photo Of Adorable Piglet

PETA Protests Use Of Chickens To Randomly Pick Oscar Winners

PETA Protests Use Of Chickens To Randomly Pick Oscar Winners

Town's Teen-Pregnancy Spike Due To One Impressive Youth

Town's Teen-Pregnancy Spike Due To One Impressive Youth

Obama Denies Accusations He Does Not Love His Dog

Obama Denies Accusations He Does Not Love His Dog

Breaking News: Woman Crying On Train Platform

Breaking News: Woman Crying On Train Platform

Report Finds Troubling Rise In Teen Uranium Enrichment

Report Finds Troubling Rise In Teen Uranium Enrichment

Nation Elects First Openly Drunk Senator

Nation Elects First Openly Drunk Senator

Annual Valentine's Day Stoning Of Happy Couple Held

Annual Valentine's Day Stoning Of Happy Couple Held

Apple Fans Chopping Off Hands In Anticipation Of New iHand

Apple Fans Chopping Off Hands In Anticipation Of New iHand

Breaking: Anti-Gay Congressman Caught In Affair With Horse

Breaking: Anti-Gay Congressman Caught In Affair With Horse

Perfectly Good Tire Just Sitting There Behind The Kroger

Perfectly Good Tire Just Sitting There Behind The Kroger

Autistic Reporter Covers Gathering Of Crying People

Autistic Reporter Covers Gathering Of Crying People

Massive Snowstorm Leaves Thousands Without Access To Pornography

Massive Snowstorm Leaves Thousands Without Access To Pornography

Army Program Pairs Female Soldiers With Male Chaperones

Army Program Pairs Female Soldiers With Male Chaperones

Al Qaeda Populating U.S. With Peaceful 'Decoy Muslims'

Al Qaeda Populating U.S. With Peaceful 'Decoy Muslims'

FEMA Rushes Supplies To New Orleans In Anticipation Of Light Snow

FEMA Rushes Supplies To New Orleans In Anticipation Of Light Snow

Congress Forgets How To Pass A Law

Congress Forgets How To Pass A Law

Serial Killer Apparently Feels Entitled To Coverage

Serial Killer Apparently Feels Entitled To Coverage

Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation's Idiots

Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation's Idiots

Firefighter Died To Save Unimpressive Teen

Firefighter Died To Save Unimpressive Teen

Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult

Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult

FDA Official: "Just Eat A Goddamn Vegetable"

FDA Official: "Just Eat A Goddamn Vegetable"

This Day In History: The Invention Of The Handjob

This Day In History: The Invention Of The Handjob

'FactZone' Viewer Has Sad, Pathetic Life

'FactZone' Viewer Has Sad, Pathetic Life

Morbid Curiosity Leading Many Voters To Support Palin

Morbid Curiosity Leading Many Voters To Support Palin

Kim Jong Il Ends Nuclear Program For Lead In Next 'Batman'

Kim Jong Il Ends Nuclear Program For Lead In Next 'Batman'

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