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Scientists Find Strong Link Between Male Virility, Wearing Mötley Crüe Denim Jacket

Scientists Find Strong Link Between Male Virility, Wearing Mötley Crüe Denim Jacket

Scientists Teach Father To Communicate Emotions Using Rudimentary Hand Gestures

Scientists Teach Father To Communicate Emotions Using Rudimentary Hand Gestures

Should Companies Discontinue Unpaid Intern Fights?

Should Companies Discontinue Unpaid Intern Fights?

CEO Says Office Shooting Could Not Have Come At A Worse Time For Company

CEO Says Office Shooting Could Not Have Come At A Worse Time For Company

Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend

Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend

GOP Maintains Solid Hold On Youth That Already Look Like Old Men

GOP Maintains Solid Hold On Youth That Already Look Like Old Men

U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety

U.S. Forest Service Kills Off Smokey Bear To Get People Serious About Fire Safety

Super Hurricane Said to Be Even More Powerful Than Bogdan, World's Strongest Man

Super Hurricane Said to Be Even More Powerful Than Bogdan, World's Strongest Man

Breaking: Tour De France On Hold As Cyclists Ride Over To Creek To Check Out Bugs

Breaking: Tour De France On Hold As Cyclists Ride Over To Creek To Check Out Bugs

Deadly Super Rainbow Tears Through West Coast

Deadly Super Rainbow Tears Through West Coast

Meat Prices Skyrocket After Cow Smashing Machine Gets All Beefed Up

Meat Prices Skyrocket After Cow Smashing Machine Gets All Beefed Up

Beard Husks On Sidewalk Indicate Start Of Hipster Molting Season

Beard Husks On Sidewalk Indicate Start Of Hipster Molting Season

Comcast Executive’s One-Man Show Now Mandatory Viewing For All Subscribers

Comcast Executive’s One-Man Show Now Mandatory Viewing For All Subscribers

Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection With Humane New Head-Ripping-Off Machine

Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection With Humane New Head-Ripping-Off Machine

Should Obama Blow The Silver Horn The Founding Fathers Left In Case The Country Ever Needed Them?

Should Obama Blow The Silver Horn The Founding Fathers Left In Case The Country Ever Needed Them?

Nation Successfully Completes Mother’s Day By 9:18 A.M.

Nation Successfully Completes Mother’s Day By 9:18 A.M.

NASA Discovers This Planet, Planet Earth, Just Might Be What It’s Been Searching For All Along

NASA Discovers This Planet, Planet Earth, Just Might Be What It’s Been Searching For All Along

Hurricane Ashley Expected To Strike Several Bars This Cinco De Mayo

Hurricane Ashley Expected To Strike Several Bars This Cinco De Mayo

Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier And Earlier, Report Teen Boys

Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier And Earlier, Report Teen Boys

George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere

George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere

Michelle Obama Introduces Exercise Program To Combat Obesity In Professional Baseball Players

Michelle Obama Introduces Exercise Program To Combat Obesity In Professional Baseball Players

Boston Mayor Throws Out First Punch At St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Boston Mayor Throws Out First Punch At St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Report: Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel

Report: Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel

Southwest Airlines Rolls Out New ‘Loyalty Goes Both Ways’ Campaign

Southwest Airlines Rolls Out New ‘Loyalty Goes Both Ways’ Campaign

New Marijuana Study Says Everyone Knows You're High And You'll Likely Be Stoned Forever

New Marijuana Study Says Everyone Knows You're High And You'll Likely Be Stoned Forever

Netflix Introduces New ‘Browse Endlessly’ Plan

Netflix Introduces New ‘Browse Endlessly’ Plan

Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other

Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other

Nation’s Parents Release Annual Ranking Of Top 50 ‘Perfectly Good’ State Schools

Nation’s Parents Release Annual Ranking Of Top 50 ‘Perfectly Good’ State Schools

Russia Applauds America's Efforts To Exclude Gay Athletes From Professional Sports

Russia Applauds America's Efforts To Exclude Gay Athletes From Professional Sports

New Study Shows That Bones Are Incredibly Cool

New Study Shows That Bones Are Incredibly Cool

BREAKING: Dogs Running

BREAKING: Dogs Running

BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash

BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash

Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Clear John Kerry After Exhaustive 9-Year Investigation

Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Clear John Kerry After Exhaustive 9-Year Investigation

NFL Concludes Ex-Players Taking Their Own Lives Because 'They Miss Football So Much'

NFL Concludes Ex-Players Taking Their Own Lives Because 'They Miss Football So Much'

Bloomberg Defends NYPD’s Controversial Stop And Kiss Program

Bloomberg Defends NYPD’s Controversial Stop And Kiss Program

FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You

FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You

The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes "A Trap"

Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes "A Trap"

Joad Cressbeckler Denies He Incited Mob To Drag Congressman Through Briar Patch

Joad Cressbeckler Denies He Incited Mob To Drag Congressman Through Briar Patch

Google Shuts Down Gmail For Two Hours To Show Its Immense Power

Google Shuts Down Gmail For Two Hours To Show Its Immense Power

Police: Kidnapped MoveOn.org Staffer's "Please Help" Emails Went Completely Ignored

Police: Kidnapped MoveOn.org Staffer's "Please Help" Emails Went Completely Ignored

Joad Cressbeckler: Immigrants Who Survive Arizona Desert Deserve Citizenship

Joad Cressbeckler: Immigrants Who Survive Arizona Desert Deserve Citizenship

In The Know Panel Analyzes Obama's Furious, Profanity-Filled Rant At Nation

In The Know Panel Analyzes Obama's Furious, Profanity-Filled Rant At Nation

Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink

Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink

Video From Inside Congressional Hostage Situation

Video From Inside Congressional Hostage Situation

Social Security Reform Bill Encourages Americans To Live Faster, Die Younger

Social Security Reform Bill Encourages Americans To Live Faster, Die Younger

Should Adults Be Allowed To Bring Kids To R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate?

Should Adults Be Allowed To Bring Kids To R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate?

Joad Cressbeckler: Homosexuality A Necessity On Cold Mountaintops

Joad Cressbeckler: Homosexuality A Necessity On Cold Mountaintops

'Green Lantern' To Fulfill America's Wish To See Lantern-Based Characters On Big Screen

'Green Lantern' To Fulfill America's Wish To See Lantern-Based Characters On Big Screen

Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films

Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films

Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop At Walmart

Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop At Walmart

Obama Befriends Rich Elderly Widow In Hopes She'll Put Nation In Her Will

Obama Befriends Rich Elderly Widow In Hopes She'll Put Nation In Her Will

Excitement Growing Among Beatles Fans For Paul McCartney's Funeral

Excitement Growing Among Beatles Fans For Paul McCartney's Funeral

Obama Outlines Moral, Philosophical Justifications For Turkey Pardon

Obama Outlines Moral, Philosophical Justifications For Turkey Pardon

Joad Cressbeckler Fears Genetic Modification Causes 'Wrath-Minded Taters'

Joad Cressbeckler Fears Genetic Modification Causes 'Wrath-Minded Taters'

Social Security Scam Robs Elderly By Convincing Them They Are Dead

Social Security Scam Robs Elderly By Convincing Them They Are Dead

Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister

Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister

Study: Americans Get Majority Of Exercise While Drunk

Study: Americans Get Majority Of Exercise While Drunk

Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile

Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile

Joad Cressbeckler: NASA Honeyfuggling America With Nonsense Space Dreams

Joad Cressbeckler: NASA Honeyfuggling America With Nonsense Space Dreams

Obama Releases 500,000 Men From U.S. Strategic Bachelor Reserve

Obama Releases 500,000 Men From U.S. Strategic Bachelor Reserve

Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer

Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer

TIME Announces New Version Of Magazine Aimed At Adults

TIME Announces New Version Of Magazine Aimed At Adults

Guatemalan Flight's Data-Recording Parrot Holds Clues To Crash

Guatemalan Flight's Data-Recording Parrot Holds Clues To Crash

Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation's Capitol To Spare Life Of 'Twilight' Author

Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation's Capitol To Spare Life Of 'Twilight' Author

USDA Recalls 96,000 Pounds Of Tainted Beef From One Family

USDA Recalls 96,000 Pounds Of Tainted Beef From One Family

Boston Globe Tailors Print Edition For Three Remaining Subscribers

Boston Globe Tailors Print Edition For Three Remaining Subscribers

Christian Groups: Biblical Armageddon Must Be Taught Alongside Global Warming

Christian Groups: Biblical Armageddon Must Be Taught Alongside Global Warming

Semi-Literate Former Gold Prospector Given Own Cable News Show

Semi-Literate Former Gold Prospector Given Own Cable News Show

Drew Barrymore's New Tell-All Coloring Book Hits Shelves

Drew Barrymore's New Tell-All Coloring Book Hits Shelves

'Iron Man 2' Buzz Heats Up Over Rumors Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Punched In Face

'Iron Man 2' Buzz Heats Up Over Rumors Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Punched In Face

Congress Announces Plan To Hide Nation's Porn From Future Generations

Congress Announces Plan To Hide Nation's Porn From Future Generations

Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday

Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday

Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips On Single Serve Microwavable Meals

Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips On Single Serve Microwavable Meals

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

Obama Caught Lip-Syncing Speech

Obama Caught Lip-Syncing Speech

Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von Trier

Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von Trier

New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don't Love Each Other

New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don't Love Each Other

Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her

Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her

Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever

Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever

Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy Ads

Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy Ads

Congo Approves Economic Stimulus Package Of AK-47 For Every Citizen

Congo Approves Economic Stimulus Package Of AK-47 For Every Citizen

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico

Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP

Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP

Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire

Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire

Crime Reporter Finds Way Of Linking Warehouse Fire To Depraved Sex Act

Crime Reporter Finds Way Of Linking Warehouse Fire To Depraved Sex Act

U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan

U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan

Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate

Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate

Ominous Music Heard Throughout U.S. Sends Nation Into Panic

Ominous Music Heard Throughout U.S. Sends Nation Into Panic

White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase

White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase

Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women

Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women

U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt

U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt

Obama Axes Pentagon Plan To Build Billion Dollar Tank In Shape Of Dragon

Obama Axes Pentagon Plan To Build Billion Dollar Tank In Shape Of Dragon

Mexico Builds Border Wall To Keep Out U.S. Assholes

Mexico Builds Border Wall To Keep Out U.S. Assholes

Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker

Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker

U.S. To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com

U.S. To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

Conservatives Warn Quick Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays, Marriage

Conservatives Warn Quick Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays, Marriage

Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'

Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'

Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire

Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

Ambassador Stages Coup At UN, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions

Ambassador Stages Coup At UN, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions

More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas

More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas

China Celebrates Its Status As World’s Number One Air Polluter

China Celebrates Its Status As World’s Number One Air Polluter

Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Exceeds Two Hand Jobs

Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Exceeds Two Hand Jobs

DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack

DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack

Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport

Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport

China’s Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great The Chinese Government Is

China’s Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great The Chinese Government Is

Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator

Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator

Manufacturer Recalls Hollow Point Bullets That Fail To Explode Inside Targets

Manufacturer Recalls Hollow Point Bullets That Fail To Explode Inside Targets

Jennifer Love Hewitt Pays Magazine $2.2 Million To Run Photos Of Her Baby

Jennifer Love Hewitt Pays Magazine $2.2 Million To Run Photos Of Her Baby

Spam Crackdown Threatens Koy4Goff's Penis Enlarger, Free iPod Industry

Spam Crackdown Threatens Koy4Goff's Penis Enlarger, Free iPod Industry

East Timor's First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women

East Timor's First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women

FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful

FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful

Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea

Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea

Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size

Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size

Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gasoline

Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gasoline

Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias

Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias

Aunts And Stepdads Line Up For This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle

Aunts And Stepdads Line Up For This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle

New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go

New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go

In Thanksgiving Tradition, Bush Pardons Scooter Libby In Giant Turkey Costume

In Thanksgiving Tradition, Bush Pardons Scooter Libby In Giant Turkey Costume

Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman

Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman

Barbara Bush Runs Aground Off Coast Of Maine

Barbara Bush Runs Aground Off Coast Of Maine

First Openly Gay Racehorse To Compete Sunday

First Openly Gay Racehorse To Compete Sunday

Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn

Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn

China Launches First Willing Manned Mission Into Space

China Launches First Willing Manned Mission Into Space

Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse

Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse

Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To The South

Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To The South

Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition

Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition

Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever

Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever

Pentagon's Unmanned Spokesdrone Completes First Press Conference Mission

Pentagon's Unmanned Spokesdrone Completes First Press Conference Mission

Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics

Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics

Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

Tiny Dog Has Been Barking Nonstop For 6 Years

Tiny Dog Has Been Barking Nonstop For 6 Years

Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff Enters 11,680th Day

Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff Enters 11,680th Day

Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013

Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013

Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'

Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'

Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children’s Healthcare

Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Children’s Healthcare

High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds

High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds

Genetic Scientists Develop Sheep With Brain Of A Goat

Genetic Scientists Develop Sheep With Brain Of A Goat

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

Reporter In Helicopter Pretty Sure Landslide Down There Somewhere

Reporter In Helicopter Pretty Sure Landslide Down There Somewhere

Horrific 120-Car Pileup A Sad Reminder Of Princess Diana’s Death

Horrific 120-Car Pileup A Sad Reminder Of Princess Diana’s Death

Historic ‘Blockbuster’ Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past

Historic ‘Blockbuster’ Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past

Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film

Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film

Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times

Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times

Plight Of Missing Hikers Will Make Great Movie

Plight Of Missing Hikers Will Make Great Movie

9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says

9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says

Army Holds Annual 'Bring Your Daughter To War' Day

Army Holds Annual 'Bring Your Daughter To War' Day

Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys To Hospital

Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys To Hospital

New Auto Security System Will Not Allow Car To Start If Driver Is Nick Nolte

New Auto Security System Will Not Allow Car To Start If Driver Is Nick Nolte

Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports

Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports

Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently

Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently

Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot

Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot

Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance

Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance

Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers

Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Condoleezza Rice To Voyage East

Condoleezza Rice To Voyage East

Controversial Tell-All Book Reveals Wrestling Fans Are Fake

Controversial Tell-All Book Reveals Wrestling Fans Are Fake

Queen Elizabeth II Will Leave Behind Long Legacy Of Waving

Queen Elizabeth II Will Leave Behind Long Legacy Of Waving

International Scandal: Don Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide To Create Film Role

International Scandal: Don Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide To Create Film Role

Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor

Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor

Reporters Expose Airport Security Lapses By Blowing Up Plane

Reporters Expose Airport Security Lapses By Blowing Up Plane

Report: Nation’s Wealthy Cruelly Deprived Of True Meaning Of Christmas

Report: Nation’s Wealthy Cruelly Deprived Of True Meaning Of Christmas

Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Voters Want To Get Into Bar Fight With

Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Voters Want To Get Into Bar Fight With

Americans Enjoying Thanksgiving Tradition Of Sitting Around At Airport

Americans Enjoying Thanksgiving Tradition Of Sitting Around At Airport

Messages From Our Troops To The Families They Can Barely Remember

Messages From Our Troops To The Families They Can Barely Remember

Mean Automakers Dash Nation's Hope For Flying Cars

Mean Automakers Dash Nation's Hope For Flying Cars

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

Preemptive Memorial Honors Future Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster

Preemptive Memorial Honors Future Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster

Use Of 'N-Word' May End Porn Star's Career

Use Of 'N-Word' May End Porn Star's Career

Viewer Voices: Where We Respond To The Opinions Of Our Uninformed Viewers

Viewer Voices: Where We Respond To The Opinions Of Our Uninformed Viewers

Country Music Stars Challenge Al-Qaeda With Patriotic New Song ‘Bomb New York’

Country Music Stars Challenge Al-Qaeda With Patriotic New Song ‘Bomb New York’

African-American Boycott of L.L. Bean Enters 80th Year

African-American Boycott of L.L. Bean Enters 80th Year

Domestic Abuse No Longer A Problem, Say Bruised Female Researchers

Domestic Abuse No Longer A Problem, Say Bruised Female Researchers

'Students First In Line' Program To Offer Job Training At Needy Schools

'Students First In Line' Program To Offer Job Training At Needy Schools

Missing Girl Probably Raped

Missing Girl Probably Raped

Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Miraculously Hits Passerby Instead

Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Miraculously Hits Passerby Instead

World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100

World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100

'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

Human Head Found In Hamburger

Human Head Found In Hamburger

Christian Charity Raising Money To Feed Non-Gay Famine Victims

Christian Charity Raising Money To Feed Non-Gay Famine Victims

TIME Releases Annual List Of Least Influential Americans

TIME Releases Annual List Of Least Influential Americans

Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys

Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys

Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash

Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash

Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas

Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas

Tired Of Traffic? A New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk'

Tired Of Traffic? A New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk'

Liechtenstein Successfully Tests Teeny Tiny Nuclear Bomb

Liechtenstein Successfully Tests Teeny Tiny Nuclear Bomb

Study: Alzheimer’s Patients Say They Do Not Have Alzheimer’s

Study: Alzheimer’s Patients Say They Do Not Have Alzheimer’s

J.K. Rowling Hints At Harry Potter Date Rape

J.K. Rowling Hints At Harry Potter Date Rape

Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays

Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays

Gap Unveils New 'For Kids By Kids' Clothing Line

Gap Unveils New 'For Kids By Kids' Clothing Line

Report: 70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic

Report: 70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic

A Friend's Cancer: Good For Your Health?

A Friend's Cancer: Good For Your Health?

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