Soccer Star Diagnosed With Chronic MLS

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Vol 47 Issue 42

Another U.S. Downgrade Looming

Due to the inability of Congress to make any long-term budget fixes, experts are predicting another credit-rating downgrade for the United States.

Republican Presidential Debate

Fox News 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT For 35 minutes, former Utah governor Jon Huntsman tries and fails to shoehorn his sensible opinion into the debate before finally blurting out "People on welfare should starve to death" in order to get the moderato...

Something Sliding Around In Coffin

The government reduces Bernie Madoff's sentence in exchange for infiltrating and fixing the economy, leaf hunting season begins, and something is sliding around in this coffin. It's the week of October 17th, 2011.
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Onion Video

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