WILBRAHAM, MA—Saying she would be thrilled to babysit for a couple days, area grandmother Margie Callahan has offered to watch her two grandchildren while their parents spend a weekend desperately trying to revive their marriage, sources reported Monday.
SANTA CLARA, CA—Following his team’s 24-10 win in Super Bowl 50, Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning ended weeks of speculation surrounding his future by announcing Sunday that he has at least one more surgery in him.
WESTERVILLE, OH—Repeatedly glancing away from the television while the rest of his family excitedly watched the game, local father Doug Bryant reportedly spent most of the Super Bowl 50 broadcast Sunday looking regretfully at his 17-year-old son, Alex, who was never allowed to play football.
SANTA CLARA, CA—Disappointing the thousands of fans in attendance as well as an estimated 100 million viewers watching at home, the Super Bowl 50 halftime show was marred Sunday by the stadium’s functioning sound system, sources confirmed.
NEW YORK—Slowly making their way out to midfield with the assistance of their owners, surviving members of the first Puppy Bowl championship team were honored at Animal Planet Stadium during Sunday’s Kitty Half-Time Show.
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Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
CHICAGO—Seeking to maximize the potential reach of their latest post, sources confirmed Thursday that the editors of news website The Daily Blotter managed to force the word “millennials”into the article’s headline in order to boost pageviews.
ALBANY, GA—Explaining that she felt relaxed and had a renewed sense of focus, local account manager Kayla Eggert told reporters Monday that she had returned to work from her recent vacation completely refreshed and ready to waste time.
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Sochi’s Euthanized Dogs To Be Returned To Streets After Olympics