SOMERVILLE, MA—After living with roommates for the better part of a decade, local woman Anne Lazar announced Tuesday she was excited to finally experience the overwhelming loneliness of having her own apartment. Lazar, 31, said that while she had fe...
WASHINGTON—Shortly after 3 p.m. today, the Federal Aviation Administration ordered the immediate grounding of all commercial and private aircraft, a result of top officials' collective realization that humankind was never meant to fly.
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
CHICAGO—With the long winter over and summer weather finally arriving, local man Bill Klocek told reporters Thursday that he was glad to finally get out of the house, walk around a bit, and discover entirely new ways to sweat.
LYNN, MA—Explaining that it’s highly suspicious for such prejudice to be present in every aspect of society by mere coincidence, local 31-year-old Peter Dowling, an avid conspiracy theorist, told reporters Thursday that he is beginning to beli...