Spam Crackdown Threatens Koy4Goff's Penis Enlarger, Free iPod Industry

The U.S. is considering sanctions against the Eastern European nation if it does not reduce the number of unsolicited offers for Viagra and replica handbags it sends.

00:00:00.000,00:00:03.000 Captions by www.SubPLY.com . . . . . . . . . . . . . 00:00:06.610,00:00:09.180 We've all heard that SPAM Email is difficult to block 00:00:09.380,00:00:11.350 because so much of it comes from overseas. 00:00:11.830,00:00:14.780 But according to a recent report, as much as 90% of SPAM 00:00:15.360,00:00:17.320 may, in fact, come from a single country, 00:00:17.520,00:00:20.660 the little known Eastern European nation, of Koy4goff, 00:00:20.850,00:00:23.190 which has a "SPAM based economy". 00:00:23.390,00:00:25.860 The State Department today announced plans for economic sanctions 00:00:26.260,00:00:28.700 against Koy4goff to end the tide of SPAM. 00:00:29.100,00:00:31.670 The sanctions would prohibit Koy4goff's main exports, 00:00:32.130,00:00:33.230 cheap prescription pills, ring tones, 00:00:33.700,00:00:35.400 penis enlargers, and free iPods 00:00:35.800,00:00:38.540 from entering the U.S. as long as the SPAM continues. 00:00:39.140,00:00:42.010 The Koy4goff government issued a strongly worded statement 00:00:42.210,00:00:43.940 condemning the sanctions and this morning, 00:00:44.380,00:00:46.720 at Affordable Paradise, Koy4goff's capital city, 00:00:47.350,00:00:50.190 Prime Minister Justin Mike spoke out against the measure. 00:00:50.580,00:00:52.380 America's not able to condemn our way of life 00:00:52.790,00:00:54.930 and make ring ring go away. 00:00:55.360,00:00:56.500 Add sizzle to your summer. 00:00:57.160,00:01:00.030 The Koy4goffian people are decrying the sanctions, as well. 00:01:00.430,00:01:02.970 George Clooney, a Koy4goff shop owner who makes his living 00:01:03.400,00:01:06.200 giving away free money now, says, without SPAM 00:01:06.640,00:01:08.840 he would have no means of advertising his service. 00:01:09.240,00:01:13.380 How else can I let people know how to get $10,000 free 00:01:13.800,00:01:16.810 just like by signing up for great offers on name brand products, 00:01:17.210,00:01:19.450 deliver it with easy next day delivery? 00:01:19.880,00:01:21.620 This is your last chance to order! 00:01:22.050,00:01:25.020 If the sanctions are upheld, Clooney fears he may lose the business 00:01:25.420,00:01:27.790 that has been in his family for three generations. 00:01:28.390,00:01:32.290 My grandfather opened this store because he knew catwalk models 00:01:32.760,00:01:34.930 love grand prizes at the pump, 00:01:35.360,00:01:37.460 luxury timepieces best quality. 00:01:37.860,00:01:40.560 And today, an Op-Ed in the Affordable Paradise Daily Deal 00:01:40.770,00:01:42.710 read "I have a webcam and want to make friends 00:01:43.100,00:01:46.300 with horny singles like me, but the U.S. government is telling me I can't. 00:01:46.710,00:01:49.600 It is every person's right to get into bed with local singles 00:01:49.790,00:01:51.610 and put your monster inside her." 00:01:52.080,00:01:54.480 For now, Koy4goff can do nothing but wait and see 00:01:54.680,00:01:57.170 how the U.S. will respond to their pleas. 00:01:57.450,00:02:00.620 Just looking for something to do. It took me forever to find you. 00:02:01.020,00:02:05.460 Wow! Add me to your MSN Mr. President, add me to your MSN. 00:02:06.090,00:02:07.420 In the event of an economic crisis, 00:02:07.860,00:02:11.360 Koy4goff's neighboring nation Popupistan has promised to send 00:02:11.800,00:02:14.040 and aid shipment of 5,000 free X-boxes, 00:02:14.430,00:02:17.430 a free credit report, and to help Koy4goff's citizens 00:02:17.870,00:02:21.610 find their old classmates. Should Koy4goff ignore the sanctions 00:02:22.070,00:02:23.810 and continue shipping products to America, 00:02:24.210,00:02:26.950 the U.S. State Department will seek funding to construct a giant, 00:02:27.410,00:02:29.550 national trash can off the coast of New York 00:02:29.750,00:02:32.990 where all the SPAM can be dumped without even looking at it first. 00:02:33.650,00:02:36.790 Moving on, Beyonce is slated to play Aretha Franklin, 00:02:37.260,00:02:39.430 Grace Jones, and Nat King Cole, in this year's bio pics. 00:02:43.500,00:02:46.100 Live cams, teen sluts want to talk to you. 00:02:46.730,00:02:52.040 America XXX, stuff her with your jack hammer. 00:02:52.440,00:02:54.580 Pussys and wet now America. 00:02:55.440,00:02:57.810 My brother said fools because great down. 00:02:58.250,00:03:02.020 Did not words foreside does light will. 00:03:03.280,00:03:05.920 Here second long Indian five. 00:03:07.620,00:03:10.290 Above, have three across, left work me. 00:03:11.360,00:03:12.660 Seeking sex tonight? 00:03:13.800,00:03:16.030 Meet local cheating wives. 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